Hello Ryechoir,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I know that it is hard to take in a diagnosis like this  I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mum. I lost my Mum to secondaries from breast cancer 20 years ago and then developed breast cancer myself 7 years ago. I have now had 2 bouts, as I had a second primary 6 years ago.

The one thing that I will say to you is that different cancers carry different prognoses, so hopefully you will fare better than your poor Mum. Treatments have improved in the ensuing years too. You should find that your state of mind improves when you know exactly what you are dealing with and you start moving forward with treatment.

You have chosen a very hard road by not telling your children about your diagnosis. Would it not be easier for all of you if you were able to discuss this openly? I am playing Devil's Advocate here, but how do you think they would feel if, Heaven forbid, something did happen to you and they were unaware that there had been anything amiss?

I am sorry to hear about your recent divorce, but don't write yourself off just yet.You can still have that 'happy beginning' in your new home - it'll just be delayed for a few months - but should be all the sweeter for having to wait for it.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. There is always someone here whenever you feel like talking.

Kind Regards,

Jolamine xx .