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Losing my Mum

Tesslou
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4 weeks ago my mum went from diagnosis of glandular fever to terminal lung cancer. Tumour is  her chest and lung. I am her only family and I am devastated. I just can't cope we are so close and cant believe I am losing her. She started immunotherapy 9 days ago and she has no energy to live her life this feels like the end. I feel so overwhelmed and tired. Does anyone know if Pembro takes time to work. Will mum pick up to live her life out? I know this treatment is very new but it seems like it is making her worse 

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    Hi Tesslou,

    I am so sorry to hear about your Mum’s prognosis. This must be an awful strain on you, as her only family. My Mum initially had breast cancer, which she fought for 11 years, but she developed metastases in brain, bone, breast, liver and lungs in her last year. It was harrowing to watch her deteriorate so quickly.

    I am afraid that I know nothing about Pembro, but hopefully someone who does will be along shortly to share with you. Try not to dwell on the end, but to deal with things on a day-to-day basis. Make your Mum as comfortable as possible. Ask if there is anything that she would like to do or people she’d like to see while she is still able to get around. Does she have any interests which won’t tire her out? Try to concentrate on making memories while you can.

    Please keep us informed about how she is getting on. Remember, there is always someone here if you feel like talking.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Hi 

    thank you so much for your reply. I do try to take a day at a time but feeling very guilty about mum being on her own. I would like her to be with me but I think she is scared to lose her independence even though she is not living a good enough life. I think her mental health may be making her physical health worse. I'm sure living with us would give us both the best chance to make the memories we need and make her last months better for her. I say months but we don't know her life expectancy as she has not ask for this. Just love her so much x

  • Offline in reply to Tesslou

    Hi there ... I've lost both my dad and mum ... my mum had heart atack and there was no time to even say good bye She was my best friend as well as my mum .. the wonderful memories she gave to me and my boys will never go ... and I feel like she watches over us every day and I know one day I will see her again ... so what I would say to you is make the most of every moment together and have faith she will always be around caring for her girl ️  Please try to talk and cry and laugh as all of these helps .. maybe your mum is trying to be strong for you but in doing that we miss out on opening our hearts and saying things we need to while we can ... I was so glad I had listened to my mum while she was here to know things she wanted to give to family if she passed ...

    l now have my own journey with cancer and my son said "promise me to talk to me every step of the way" and l am so glad l did ... he held my hand though it all even at 3a.m when I had to be taken to theatre for 2 op ... we talked about everything and always found something to smile about .. I'm so glad l shared this time with my wonderful family ...

    l hope this helps a little .. sending you a big hug .. ‍ ️‍‍ xx Chrissy

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    Thank you for your reply xxx

    i am so sorry for your loss and now your cancer journey. Life can be so cruel !

    mum and me have had a few precious and honest times over the last few weeks which I am so thankful for and I know how precious these memories are. 

    I do take each day by day but mum is sleeping about 20 hours a day and not eating so no chance to make memories. She has had just 1 treatment and faces the next this week. Don't see things getting better but don't know if this is  is normal as her petite little body is working so hard to fight this xxxx

    Good luck and your Son sounds so caring and lovely no doubt down to you xxxx ️

     

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