Hi Dm53,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. You have come to the right place here for advice, help and support as your Mum travels her cancer journey. I can appreciate her stance in respect of Radiotherapy, particularly if it would not heal her cancer and am glad that you can accept this, albeit with reservations.

Cancer affects everyone in a family, not just the patient and you have a difficult few months ahead of you, but you will find the strength to carry on.

I lost my own dear Mum to secondary cancer several years ago and I still miss her every day. Try not to dwell on losing her just now. Instead of looking at the bigger picture and its inevitable end, try to deal with things as they crop up on a day-to-day basis. Do you have any other siblings or a Dad who can help out? Do you live near your Mum?

The main thing to concentrate on is in trying to keep her comfortable. Are there any things that she would like to do or people that she would like to see whilst she is able to? Is she the sort of person who would want all her affairs in order before she passes? If, so you could help her to facilitate this. Does she have any pastimes she is interested in or are there any new ones which she might like to try?

I am sure that you will find the strength to carry on for her sake, but for now concentrate on making memories together while you can.

I am thinking of you both and praying that she gets longer than her consultant has predicted. In answer to your question – yes, patients have been known to live way past their allotted time. Doctors can guess at how much time we have left and some can be quite accurate, but others can be way out.

Please keep in touch and let us know how your Mum is getting on. There is always someone here to talk to whenever you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx