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Struggling to deal with my dad's diagnosis.

carolinew
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Hi

My dad was told last week he has liver cancer, it is primary but due to his age and I'll health he is limited with the treatment. We are still waiting from the outcome of the meeting but at the moment I'm.really struggling and I feel bad because it's not me that has  cancer. 

I was with my mum.and dad when he was told the test results and I can't get past it. The air felt like it had been suceed out of the room, my mums face and my dad saying he's been given a death sentence. 

Friends say the usual to help that they know own how your feel but they don't have a clue.

I'm hoping someone here can genuinely say "I know how you feel" so I can talk to someone who at least unewsstands me.

Thank you xx 

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    Hi I lost my grandad to cancer. I never knew my dad so my grandad was my dad. My uncle didn't take the news so well he was crying and just didn't want to know. He is still like this now he doesn't wanna talk bout my grandad, any time we mention anything bout he he tired to change the subject. It's hard ano but you will get through it cos I was 17 when I found out bout my grandad. And I miss him loads but ano he is watching over me. So ano this is hard but he may be able to fight it cos he is probably determined to. All you can do is carry on and fight as best as you can. And if u wanna talk I am here as I know what u are feeling. You feel like it's a bad dream and u are going to wake up any minute u feel like the worlds is carrying on and it shouldn't. U wanna scream for someone to wake u up or rescue u from the big black hole. Cos that is how I felt when my grandad had been told. Unfortunately he died 7 months after being told but he had an open wound from an op he had had pria to being told. He had diabetes and many other conditions. So if u need to talk I am here s
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    Hi Caroline, I am really sorry your Dad has just been diagnosed with cancer. You will go through so many emotions along the way and it is completely normal. Unless a friend has personally been through it then no they couldn't possibly imagine how it feels. I think it is a bit of an insult if people say they know when they really don't, it is a feeling that is beyond words. I thought I would comment because I know how it feels. My dad was diagnosed in April 2015 with stage 4 incurable bowel cancer which has spread to his lungs and liver. He was diagnosed a week before I turned 26. It was hell. The pain was so excruciating I felt suffocated. My world turned upside down knowing one day I would lose my Dad to cancer. In April this year (2 years after diagnosis) my dads cancer spread to his brain and behind one his left eye. He is currently dying and has days to weeks left to live. I thought how I felt then was bad but it is only a small percentage of how I feel right now. However I am glad I spent those 2 years with my Dad where we grew closer than ever. We have made memories that will also live on in the many photos I have taken over that time. My advice to you would be to take each day as it comes. If you want to cry then do so. Spend as much time as you can with him, photos, videos the lot. The way I look at things is some people never get that time together, but we did. Big hugs x
  • Offline in reply to Butterfly89

    Thank you to both for your lovely replies. It seems easier to talk about it on here with people that understand. I don't feel like I can talk to my family because they're probably going through the same. Thank you both so much xx 

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    HI Caroline, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. My dad just found out on Friday that he has secondary liver cancer and it has all come as quite a shock. He has been living with Prostrate Cancer for a number of years and was at the consultants to discuss his latest (annual) scan. Unfortunately, we received the bad news that the cancer is now in his liver. It is an absolute world of emotions at the moment and we are trying to come to terms with it, tears have been shed but not in front of my dad, we are just staying as positive as we can and if your dad can try and take any ounce of positivity, then this will help. I do understand though, we're not looking at a death sentence and for all of the years, my dad has had Prostate Cancer, he has always said that he is 'living with cancer' not dying from it and I know how you feel. We've all had a few days/nights to digest the news and I've spent more hours on Macmillan/NHS Cancer Websites than ever before. If you would like to chat or contact me anytime, please feel free

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