Hi. this is my very first post on any forum in my life.

My dad has got chronic myloid leukemia and just a fortnight ago mum was diagnosed with stage 3 advanced pancreatic cancer. They have offered her chemo but said that in no way would it extend her life it might,might shrink the tumor to help ease the pain.Mum has refused this and she has explained her reasons for it which we have accepted and we respect her decision. Now though i feel absolutely devastated, i feel helpless just devastated its hard to explain my thoughts and my feelings i feel guilty because im a recovering alcoholic and it should be me who has got it. I know mum is in pain and im just helpless i feel so helpless.