Hi Cloth,

I’m sorry to hear about your dad. Getting a diagnosis like this can knock someone for six. It sounds like it has had a profound effect on your dad to cause him to make the life choices that he has made. Has he done all the travelling he wanted to do now? Has he had any treatment for his depression? Many of us have to resort to something to help us through these dark days. We don’t always want to admit to having depression, but treatment can make a huge difference. Have a chat with his GP or oncologist and see what they think.

Instead of worrying about the end result, you might find it more helpful to put a more positive slant on what is happening.  My mum started off with breast cancer, but it progressed to liver, lung, brain and bone.  I lost her in 1997, but there isn’t a day that passes that I don’t miss her. The best thing that you can do for your dad is to try and ignore the bigger picture and to just take things as they come day by day. It sounds as if he is getting to the stage where he shouldn’t be driving.  Does  he have other family support?

It can be helpful to try and build up some memories whilst he is well enough to do this. Take him to visit those he wants to see, take him out for a meal or to the seaside. Does he have any hobbies or interests that you could help him to partake in? It sounds as if he needs to feel loved and cherished, although he sounds quite a character and may know exactly what he wants to do himself. Help him to draw up a bucket list. Persuade him that he will have to do something about more permanent accommodation before winter comes. If he feels cold now, he’ll never be able to live in the car throughout the winter months. Would there be any possibility of him living with family over this period?

There are a lot of things to be settled, but it can be done and dealing with it in bite sized chunks instead of looking desperately at the bigger picture is definitely the way to go.

I wish you both the strength to see this through. We are always here to support you both along this journey. Keep in touch and let us know how you get on.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx