I totally understand how you feel, My grandma who meant the world to me and more. She was my bestfriend my life and soul was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer January 14th after being to the doctors for years with belly pain which they removed her gallbladder and nearly ruled it out to be kidney stones until she went to a&e. They We're slow with doing scans as they thought they had caught the cancer early enough. However she had to have a camera inserted to make sure it hadn't spread to her bowels. Two days after having this camera my mom found her weak and not her usual self in bed so rang an ambulance. To which we learnt the camera had pierced her bowel which had caused an infection all over her body and to say our goodbyes because they didn't think she would make it through the night. We did but she made it and beat the infection for then to be told she had only days left. I was heavily pregnant and couldn't prepare myself to loose my grandma who was also meant to be my birthing partner for the 2nd time. She died on 15th Feb 2017 4 weeks from us getting told she had cancer it's ripped me apart however I knew how much pain she was in for around 2 years and I'm so happy she's out of that pain. X