Hi,

For a while my mum was suffering with her chest and then a pain in her right shoulder. She has bronchitis so she put it down to this for ages but eventually my sister and I nagged her that much she went to her doctors. We have now found out she has lung and throats cancer. I'm 25 my mum is 68 (late baby haha) and she's been told she has 6 months to a year. My whole world crashed and burned last Friday when we found out. I haven't been the greatest daughter, Iv brought too much grief to my mums door but we've always been closer than most. She's my best friend and now there's nothing I can say or do to save her. She's superwoman, brushing it off and not even speaking about it but I can't understand it. I need her to talk but I don't want to start the conversation and upset her and even if she does talk about it I don't think I can cope with hearing it from her. I have a brother and a sister, I'm not close to either of them and now I feel like I'm losing the only person who I have. My dad is an alcoholic and is bipolar. Even though they split my mum still looked after him and now he's given up trying and drinking into oblivion. I have no idea how to do this. I never thought the day would come naively enough. I want to help, I just don't know how. 

Any advice from anyone would be appreciated. I'm the girl who lives in the fast lane and I feel Iv blown my time with her and she's never going to see me get my life together and make her proud. Loneliest feeling in the world x