I'm not ready to lose my Mum

Yesterday my mum was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. She was first diagnosed in 2004, then twice again, as well as another primary cancer. She is the bravest woman I know, I was 5 when she was first diagnosed and am now 18 and she has fought to see me and my two siblings grow up. The news that no matter how hard she fights I am going to lose her scares me so much. Her cancer has appeared in her bone marrow but they can't start treatment yet until they can work out how her bone marrow is behaving. She has always been my inspiration and I wish I had her strength to help me accept this, but I'm still hoping for someone to pinch me and I can wake up and it was all just a bad dream. I need her for all the big things, I need her on my wedding day, when I have my babies, but I also need her for the other big things like a shoulder to cry on, to support me when it feels like the world is against me, when I need a cuddle or to pass me my face wash when I forget to bring it into the bath with me. I know there are other young women like me who will never be ready to lose their mum, I need some support x 

  • Am so sorry to hear your news. I lost my mum to cervical cancer 25years ago and still miss her everyday. I was 18 when she passed, am now 44 and just been diagnosed with breast cancer. 

    You should maybe thing of getting some counseling to off load your fears and sadness. I wish I had the right words to say to you. I hope you will be ok. Your doing the right thing by taking about this. X

  • Hello lovely, 

    I am in your mum's position. Stage 4 MBC in my bones. I also have three beautiful boys- 19, 22 and 24. I understand you and ask you to also understand your mum does not have an expiry date and no one can predict it either. You can live many, many years with this- before her diagnosis you knew,like us all,she  and the rest of us are going to die and didn't know when- nothing has changed other than it's more acute for you now. Please try and stay in the now- none of us with or without this disease know what we will or won't see! Please try and enjoy all the 'nows' that you have yet to have. 

    It is not easy but you still will smile and laugh together again. 

    I hope this helps you xxx