Terminal Metastatic Cancer

My 51 year old son has just been diagnosed with Terminal Metastatic Cancer. They told us it has spread on to the lining covering the bowel. They don't know where the primary source is. He is to start chemo next week to try and stop it from spreading. My query is, what quality of life is he going to have if chemo is the only thing keeping it at bay? I would like others to pass on their views please.

  • Hi Dorothy,

    So sorry to read about your son's diagnosis, it is a devastating time for everyone involved.

    One of the most frustrating things about the cancer journey is how hard it can be to get a straight answer from people. This is due to there being so many variables in every case. One person's experience and outcome can be very different from another's, even if they have very similar diagnoses and are on near identical care plans. 

    Your son's Oncologist will be able to give you an idea of what expectations to have, but any timescales you are given will be based on averages and could under or over estimate by months or even years. For example, I was told I had Stage 4 cancer and that I probably had between 2 and 12 months, possibly 18 months if the chemo was unusually effective. That was in October 2013 and I am still living a relatively normal life despite still having metastatic cancer. In a similar case, a friend's father who like me was in his fifties had the same cancer at the same stage but didn't make it past 2 months. I have no real idea why there was such a difference. There is hope but we shouldn't put too much faith in the estimates we receive. On average these are right, but there are extremes in both directions.

     

    Good luck and best wishes 

    Dave

     

  • Hello Dorothy, I am very sorry to read about your son. Cancer is such an individual disease and each person responds as such. Not knowing the primary cancer will make treatment I think more difficult but not impossible. There are a lot of drugs available which hopefully will help. When on chemo the medical team do everything to make the patient's life bareable. With regard to timescales just take each day as it comes support your son and if he has a family then too. Remember to take support yourself as cancer can take its toll on carers. Warmest wishes to you and your son. WA