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85 year old mum has just been dignosed with throat cancer

nessbx
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hi , feeling a bit lost , my mum got diagnosed with throat cancer on the 23rd dec , shes 85 they have told us its not cureable and we are waiting for mri to see if its spread which docs are telling me they think it has , she cant eat food without being sick , im just still in shock , dont know who or where to turn , heart broken as i live 120 miles from her and she has no family other than us , please can someone give me some advice xx

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    Nessbx

    i am sorry to hear you news but you have come to the right place to chat so welcome to the forum

    i myself am just over two post treatment for throat cancer

    i assume you mum is about to undergo further tests in the new year so that a treatment process can be configured.

    So has you mum got an appointment in the new yew and for what?

    if your mum is having difficulty getting food down it would be a good idea to ask the medical team for some fortified milkshakes, this will help her keep her weight on and food intake up

    ask away if you have any questions

    keep us updated

     

    Vatch

     

  • Offline in reply to Vatch
    hi thank you for your reply , and hope you are feeling ok , mum had mri yesterday but hospital are telling me they wont have results and have to have a meeting via a video link on the 9th jan , that seems such a long wait , they gave mum a high callorie drink today , the cancer nurse said she wont put any weight on because of the cancer , she even had to have a childs blood pressure cuff as the adults are too big ,they was gonna discharge mum yesterday as have to wait till the 9th , but i was conserned about her being on her own so they have transfered her to a hospital nearer her home which for me is 120 miles away , she doesnt want to talk about cancer so its a bit hard at the minuite , this all scares me as shes sick each day some more than others , cancer nurse said she wont feel sick but will just bring the food back up , feeling a lot scared about the next few weeks xxx
  • Offline in reply to nessbx

    Nessbx

    the testing and multiple scans are one of the worst parts of the process and results never come as quick as we want them too.

    if you ask the medical team for a few of those drinks (if you haven't got them already) and make sure she gets about two of them down, perhaps more if she is not eating anything.....you medical team can best advice you

    sip them slowly through a straw over time, it will help keep her strength up

    i remember when I could not take anything orally, not even boiled water, I had a tube that went directly into my stomach and at my worst I could only do two a day

    i was also fortunate in that Addenbrookes is only a 45 minute journey from me, not 120 miles like your trip.

    some people don't want to talk about their cancer, that's they way they deal with it, try not to go Ott on changing this, but just support and try to distract your mum from what she is going through. 

    I hope things start to improve for your mum and you

    shout if you need an ear

    vatch

  • Offline in reply to Vatch

    hi thanks for the reply, hope your doing ok . , did you have to have more tests after your mri , think they mentioned another one but would have to be done in nottingham , im worried to when she goes home how she will cope as her memories going and dont no how shes gonna get on with food , bit worried that she will just get iller due to not eating much , shes really independent so dont like any help . is there any benifits she may be intitled to do u know as she gets state pention .xx

     

  • Offline in reply to nessbx

    Hi nessbx

    the result of my MRI was just the start of another process, I then had several exploritories an enforced tonsillectomy ( even though I had them out when I was 8) I then had a pet ct scan (which is a more microscopic scan)

    just to give you an idea of timing I was diagnosed on Monday April 28th I had my MRI scan that Thursday and I did not start my treatment until July 8th...in between that I had multiple tests and imaging done

    its important that you mum keeps up here strength pre treatment so those fortified drinks are of great benefit.

    hasvyour medical team spoken to you about fitting a feeding tube prior to treatment ?

    I wrote a blog all the way through my treatment, it may not be what your mum is going through so might not be of use

    gammaraygary.wordpress.com/.../

    as for benefits if you speak to your local macmillan nurse she will be able to advise best

    shout if you have any questions

    vatch

  • Offline in reply to Vatch
    Thanks for ur reply , I feel a bit lost as they said meeting on 9th , so not heard anything, don't know if she having the vitamin drinks or if she's managing food , feel like I'm out the loop as not there to talk to hospital staff , hate being so far away ... Thank u so much for your knowlage on this as I feel like I'm out my dept as no idea wots happening , don't think they are gonna fit feeding tube because of her age . Just feel like it's so slow I understand they have to do lots of tests but she's 85 and I'm so far away xxx

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