Send him out to do the shopping  etc.  Get him doing tasks. We sent Paul out.  He drove me and Karen u the bloody wall.  X

Right I am having a meltdown! I took Friday afternoon off and yesterday as my sister was coming down to surprise my mum. I've got back work today and no one has covered my work while I was away!! I've been told the colleague that covers me (who is always rude and lazy) saat there yesterday and read a book on her kindle!! This is a regular occurance, but at a time when I need the support I'm not getting it and having to play catch up when I get back!! I feel I am getting little support at work when I need it and when I bring up that this person is not helping me I have been told I need to address it myself!! 

I haven't got the strength to do deal with this! Other colleagues are just not being helpful and I am ready to jack it in!! I don't have th fight in me to try and get the assistance I need and there is no way I can cope with my workload with the time I have off, even when I am in my head is just a mess and I find it difficult to cope with the work :(

Hi Danni,

I'm sorry this happened to you, it seems to be compounding the situation that is already very stressful. Is there any chance you could get time off under unpaid/paid "compassionate leave"? You already mentioned that when you're in work you can't concentrate anyway so it would make sense. I wouldn't recommend jacking it in if at all possible unless financially it will be ok.  

I know how hard it is to be kept waiting but cancer can be a complex thing and while it's a very hard time they absolutely have to get the diagnoses correct in order for the optimum treatment for your mom and the best chance she has of remission/cure or prolonging her life.

I really feel for you but if you can take a deep breath and take one day at a time. 

God Bless x

So mums appointment was yesterday, I went to work and tried my best but it was a vile day! The manager and his son both took a pop at me even knowing what yesterday was!! The son told me that I need to leave me problems at the door, the phone was slammed down and I just burst into floods of tears!! :( 

Luckily the other manager has been helpful and has given me today and tomorrow off as I'm struggling to cope & I think she could see that too, yesterday was then breaking point & I nearly walked!!

We still have no news!! They brought my mum in to tell her that they are discussing her notes with Portsmouth & Southampton hospital today and will phone her tomorrow!! I think that should've been done before this appointment!! The consultant basically asked why she was there and my dad said well we have been told her CT scan showed cancer and the consultant replied that they haven't confirmed that yet just that there is a mass on her kidney & lung.

God knows how my mum & dad are but I am emotionally & physically exhausted I can't take much more waiting & uncertainty!! I feel like my sanity is slipping away.  I honestly can't understand how the hospital system can be so cruel!! 

You are absolutely right about hospitals being cruel. My dad should have had his operation on the 30th November but they messed up his medication and had to postpone it. We all psyched ourselves up and now have to do it all over again. He is going in on Monday to have part of his tongue removed by laser. Six days before christmas. I am so scared. Very scared. Best of luck and I hope you and your mum and dad find some peace xxx

Hi Danni I had my kidney removed I'm may .. I have a lung nodule that's stable at the moment..  My surgeon told me that if the nodule in the lung was cancer there are drugs that can control it and although not cure it, they can extend your life and give you a reasonable quality of life. 

I know what you are going through my best friend is terminal and in palliative care.. I feel numb anxious depressed guilty that I can't help him.. I want to burst into tears most days  and nights .. These are to me the same reaction you are having right now 

there's no normal reaction to situations like this . We are all individual and our minds and bodies are all individual .  Be strong for your mum ... My thoughts are with you Alan 

Hi Alan,  just read your post.  I just lost my best friend Karen.  She was diagnosed 2 and a bit yrs ago.  They told her after being g admitted with what we thought was an important infection,  but wasn't. They told her she had 2days-2wks to live. They moved her to a hospice. 13days later she's gone.im lost and in shock.  It's happened so fast.  I was buying  Xmas presents for her and now...she was only 50. Gut,  being g mad and angry is all part of the process.  She actually asked me how I felt!  I said I'm so mad.  Be strong is all I can say.  It's hard, your heart will hurt but you got to be strong for them.  I never know I could be so brave.  I was with her till the very end.  Me and her.  Like I said to her we were Sam and Frodo no matter what.  X