I felt the same way you do now when my friend was diagnosed.  Then I turned into some well organised,  compartmentalised person.  We are doin this and that...this next then that treatment.. Anything to stop me from standing still and taking it in.  Later on I couldn't carry on that way I had to deal with my feelings.  We all like Antoni said react or deal differently and there is no right or wrong way.  You talk to friends,  family and if you can't you chat on here to us.  This has helped me deal with my feelings.  So many of us going through the same thing.  You take care now x

I have put on a brace face for my parents but this morning going to work was hell and I have just been non stop welling up :( 

it feels like we are in limbo till she sees a consultant, I'm angry at everyone as I feel no one cares, I know that's not true but I am the sort of person that over analysis's everything anyway so I am doing it with their reaction towards my news & reading it the wrong way.

I feel like packing in my job and just staying at home, I'm sure if the diagnosis is not good that's what I will end up doing 

Antoni how did you carry on? I honesty can't see a way I can if the worse should happen. I'm a natural worrier anyway so at the minute I'm in over drive worrying 

x

hi danni,

i know all too well that "limbo" feeling, waiting around for moms CT scans, biopsys and x-rays etc... having a diagnoses, even if it's not a good one, is better than none at all... at least you have some sort of "answer" then...

i had to and have to carry on, somedays you want the world to stop but it won't, life goes on wether we like it or not... and whats more i know my mom would have wanted me to carry on... what really is the alternative?, to lay down and die myself?... don't also forget if the worse does happen you still have your dad and other family members, they will need you as you need them... we are sometimes wrapped up in our own sorrow and forget they are hurting as well...

i feel for you and i'm glad that you have shared your experience with us on this forum, we are here for you if you want to talk please don't forget that... and please keep us updated when and if you can..

God Bless x

I agree with antoni.  The waiting around for results the wks when you have to wait to meet the consultant to go over the tests..limbo... You live your life by dates.  Whatever the news you have to carry on.  You have to dig your heels in for the sake of your mom and help her fight.  You got to give her a reason to fight.  It's hard yes but you have to.  If I had given in the toel my best friend would gave early on.  She would not have fought.  Was I *** at the world absolutely.  I could quite happily tell them all to go and do one at work get my bag and coat and walk out.  Thing is it wouldn't have helped.  She wanted normality. I needed normality.  It's changed later on.  Don't make snap decisions.  One day at a time you have to take.  I'm thinking of your mom here not just you.  The worse thing you can do is change her routine in life even though it will be changed by some degree by this.  Karen knew she had cancer she didn't want a constant reminder shoved in her face by me visiting 24/7. As for carrying on.  I'm learning and I'm doing like the rest on here,  surviving.  Pull strength from everyone.  Don't be a stranger on here.  Courage and love Danni xxxx

Just been told at my dad's pre assessment that they are postponing his tongue operation. They should have stopped his warfarin and other blood thinners 10 days before the procedure. It feels like torture and I don't know if I'm more angry or upset. I tried to get a GP appointment to arrange pain relief after he his discharged but there are none until 19 December. A bad week.

Has your dad been asigned a cancer nurse yet you can call and speak to. Walk into the bloody Dr's and demand an app and tell them why.  It's not a common cold he's got.  You put your foot down and be heard.  Tell them at hospital he's not being discharged until he has pain relief and that you can't get Dr's app.  I had to do this with Karen,  be forth right and be heard x

Again this was the nurse at his pre assessment appointment who told us the hospital stopped giving pain killers because of wastage in the NHS. She was the one that told me to contact his GP. There is no communication between departments at this hospital.

Phoned his key worker nurse and she has promised he will not be discharged without pain relief. If he has no new admission date by Tuesday I have to tell her that too. And here's me thinking catch it early......x

You keep doing what you're doing.  Keep on at his key worker nurse.  It's so bloody frustrating.  How is your dad now?