Angry doctors not listening to my Dad

My father was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer 4 days ago.  My Mum and I are shocked, sad and angry.  My father has been in the most excruciating pain for 6 weeks in his left side, vomiting, loose bowels etc...  He has been so weak and his days have been spent crying in pain.  My mother has ferried him serveral times to the doctors who just kept saying there was nothing wrong with him making him feel like a fraud.  Four doctors all said the same until one finally said it looks like he has Scoliosis.  Further to this they got in a private Pysio because of the waiting time for a physio through the hospital was too long.  The Physio though he might have a cracked collar bone so issued a letter to the doctor to send him for a scan.  Finally at the doctors again a move was made to call an ambulance (he has a pace maker also). Only after an agonising MRI scan and being told off for coming in an ambulance by the consultant did the trueness of his pain be finally recognised.  He has Cancer in his left lung, kidney and pancreas. Mum says he is dieing but until the consultants can see him tomorrow, we sit waiting to hear the dreaded words of how long he has got.  I am so sad that he has suffered in agony all this time and not been taken seriously.  Clearly we will follow this up but for now I can only text him from 400+miles away.  I am planning to drive to him over the next few days but being a single working mother with little support network is going to be tough.  My daughters dad has kindly offered to take her and the cat whilst I make tracks but for now I really wish I was nt so far away...

  • hi purple carrott, that is so sad what a terrible time you and your dad and family have been through, i hope writing it down has helped a little with the frustration,  i hope the consultant today can give you much more information,  my advice, as my dad is terminal with brain tumour,    make that long journey sooner rather than later, and just be there, your dad will need to see your face and hold your hand, and just that,    helps a lot , for both of you,  dont put it off, it will be hard, you will get upset, but you will be glad you did,  yours and your fathers journey is not going to be easy with continued treatment etc, but you can help each other through it,  if i could reach through the screen and hug and send love and understanding i would,   i understand... please let me know how all goes, thinking of you and your struggle truely. i dont think there are words to help you, but hopefully knowing there are thousands of us on here all going through the same kind of things, will give a comfort to you........cococat

  • Thank you for your kind reply and sorry to hear of your painful journey, also. The latest news is he has stomach cancer also.  I have made a plan to go visit him Thursday for 4 days.  My Mum is thrilled.  I have to leave my daughter with her father and tell her I will be going to help Nanna with Grandad for a whilst.  Your right, I do need to see him.  It is the right thing to do for us both.  Sadly my father and I have had a rocky relationship.  We have been estranged on/off over the course of my life.  We believe he is undiagnosed Aspergers.   Thankfully I made the move last Christmas to reunite him with me and his Grandaughter and we have visitied twice over the summer.  He has always been a funny old ***! but you only get one Father and he is mine. 

  • Sorry to hear your news. my dad was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and it took several trips to the doctors, out of hours and a &e before we could get him referred.

    The consultants and hospital have been shocking in their treatment and I cross my fingers that you and your family dont have to go through the same.

    Make sure you get updates from the consultant and a care plan in place as it will all seem very daunting and confusing as to what you need to do moving forward.