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My dad has lung cancer

leef
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My family have just found out that my dad has lung cancer after weeks and weeks of being in hospital and having a ridiculous amount of tests and scans. We've been told that its terminal and its quite aggressive as its travelled to various parts of his body in a short space of time.

Me and my family have been left very angry at the treatment my dad received in the hospital as ince we had the diagnosis they couldnt wait to get him off the ward. We had no aids at home to help him and mum with day to day things, he was released with no morphine and no care plan and we as a family felt totally lost as to what to do and what to expect.

Nearly 2 weeks on from him being discarded from the hospital we have had a visit from the family doctor, district nurse and a macmillian nurse.  Is it normal to be left to your own devices ar such a difficult time, what help should we have received. Can anyone help?

  • Offline in reply to leef

    Thank you for your advice. The Gp called yest and the macmillan head nurse has got dad's new prescription sorted out. And finally care is supposed to be in place! Dad will be home nearly a month now and it all shouldn't have taken so long. 

    My mum is struggling mentally and physically, she's nearly 80 now. But luckily im able to help and my sister doesn't work so she's staying with mum and dad. She doesn't live near us but comes up quite often. 

    Try not to feel guilty, we can only do our best and that is what you're doing for your mum and dad. Guilt is part and parcel of it though isn't it. I feel guilty too if I miss a day not going up to the house. 

    But we have our own families and I keep being told we have to look after ourselves aswell. 

    Keep me informed about how things are going. 

  • Offline in reply to Libbs

    Thank you I will.

    Keep me update how you guys get on as well.

    Lee

  • Offline in reply to leef

    Hi Lee.

    Dad passed away on wed 23rd. Can't believe just 8weeks after diagnosis he's gone.

    He got his wish and passed away at home. My heart breaks. We've got the funeral on Thurs. So worried about mum and how she'll get through it. 

    How's your dad doing? Try to stay strong x 

  • Offline in reply to Libbs

    Hi Libbs,

     

    So sorry to hear your sad news. I was going to message you the other day to find out how he was getting on but couldnt find the link, heads all over the place at the moment as you can imagine. It will be a very difficult time for you all, especially your mum and all you can do is offer support and be there when she needs you. If you can ask the Macmillian nurses for help with berevement councelling.

    As for Dad he fell last friday as his legs were too weak for him to get up a step, he went to hospital were they kept him in till the Macmillian team could see him which wasnt till the Monday. The hospital drugged him up and put him pads on so they didnt have to deal with him whilst he was in there, didnt check that he had eaten or taken his medication. 

    Thankfully now he is in a local hospice where he is doing better. Albeit he is very confused and cant walk, so they are sending him for more scans to see if more radiotherapy can be given to improve his mobility. Not sure any of it will help as this type of cancer seems to take its victims very swiftly.

    Stay strong and keep in touch. Im here even if you just want a good old rant to get things off your chest or to talk about everyday things x

  • Offline in reply to leef

    Hi. Really nice to hear from you. So sorry about your dad having to go into hospital, and the treatment he's been given sounds disgraceful. Your poor mum, how is she coping? And how are you? 

    It was dad's funeral today and I feel so upset and can't believe he's no longer with us. It's like a sledge hammer has smacked me across the head. 

    Mum coped so well considering but when she got home she started shaking and was being sick.

    They were married nearly 60yrs and from a very young age. 

    What we're all going through is heartbreaking xx 

     

  • Offline in reply to Libbs

    Ps They will look after your dad much better in a hospice. My friend sadly passed away four yrs ago from breast cancer and our local hospice looked after her so well. She definitely was in safe hands.

    Thinking of you and your family x 

  • Offline in reply to Libbs

    Hi Libs, 

    Hope your all doing ok.

    Dad passed away in the early hours of Christmas Day. Totally gutted and we have the funeral tomorrow which Im not looking forward to.

    Cant believe how quick its all happend

  • Offline
    Leef, I feel for you and your family, especially your poor dad. Ive have walked in your shoes and only lost my dad on the 1st December 2016 after a 3 year battle with cancer. My dad was fortunately diagnosed early with his cancer which managed to buy him some extra time, but this is only because he had a severe pain in his back, which after 3 visits to the GP resulted in him finally having a chest x ray which showed he had lung cancer which was at the back of the lung and touching his spine which resulted in the pain. He had no other symptoms such as breathlessness etc and if it was not for the fact that it was touching his spine and causing pain I do not think we would have found out until much much later. We found as a family that we were pretty much left to our own devices from the point of view of the hospital. Dad went for hospital appointments and other than the few scans he had and chemo, we had no other involvement from them. It was difficult to try and contact the Consultant other than seeing him at my dad's appointments so it was all through the GP. My dad was on Steroids which really picked him up which had been prescribed by the Hospital Consultant but when they ran out the GP said she could not prescribe any more as the hospital had prescribed them so we had to wait two weeks to see the hospital doctor and in the meantime my dad went rapidly downhill and became severely breathless again and had no appetite and by the time the hospital put him back on the steroids he could not rally round and died a few weeks later. The communication between the hospital and GP is sporadic at best. My 74 year old mother nursed him at home with no outside help and we only had the Hospice Nurses come into our home 3 days before he died and they were superb and I wish we had contacted them before, but we did not know they offered such a good service in the community and my dad did not want to go into the Hospice. I really feel for you and it is such a rough time for all the family but as long as you work together with all the help you can get you will get through it. We dealt with Isabel Hospice, Macmillan Nurses and the District Nurses and apparently there are volunteers who come to your home who will help in any way they can or who would even sit with your dad through the night. I wish I had known more about these services on offer and used them earlier . I always knew about the Hospice etc but did not know they offered so much in the community. You are probably aware of all these service but just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts xx

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