Hi there Wendy, welcome to the forum, but so sorry to hear about your Dad having cancer. I can tell that you are really upset and no wonder, you have just found out that you may lose your Dad to this terrible disease. I know that you and other family members want to find a way to make your Dad well again, and maybe that won't be possible. That is a hard thing to hear and even harder to accept. Having said that however, whatever plan is made for your Dad's treatment, has to be his decision, and as his loved ones, you need to support his decision. Keep in mind, this is his life, and as much as you and other family members want to keep him with you as long as possible, he needs to decide, with the help of his doctors, what to do in the way of treatment, if any. Some treatments are very difficult to experience and even downright horrendous, and when there is no hope for a cure, would anyone want to take them.? Once his treatment team have a chance to review and consult on his condition, I'm sure they will provide him with all the options for follow-up treatment. When this is presented to  him, you and other family members need to support him through this process.

I am dealing with terminal cancer myself, and about the only control over my life that I have at this point, is what, if any, treatment I will take. My main goal is to be able to try and control any pain that I have, and to be able to enjoy the things in life that I can still do. Friends and family members who can't accept that there comes a time when we, (and them) have no control over a disease once it becomes terminal. The best you can do for your Dad at this point, is to support him, and allow him to make his own decisions about treatment or lack of treatment if he so chooses, with the help of his treatment team. You also need to remember that your Dad has likely not recovered from the shock of hearing that his disease is terminal. More than anything right now, your Dad needs your love and support as he takes this journey with cancer that no one chooses to be on.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh and I don't mean to be, but like your Dad, I know how it feels to have loved ones trying to convince him to fight a losing battle with this terrible disease. Right now, he needs your love and acceptance for whatever choices he makes. I have also been where you are when my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, so I know how you feel. He very gently told me that I needed to accept that this was a disease that was going to take his life and more than anything, he needed me to support him through this journey. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do, but for his sake, I did it. I hope you too will come to that understanding.

Sending you a hug.

Lorraine     

Hello Wendylou,

I would just like to say I agree with what Lorraine has said. My father had lung cancer nearly 30 years ago and no treatment was advised. He lived for around a year and a half. You can only support him and be with him as much as you can, hopefully he will be advised by his consultant after the scan what his options are.

I like Lorraine have stage 4 cancer and it is being controlled by hormone therapy but if this stops working I don't know if I would have further treatment.

I rarely see my daughter and grandchildren due to family problems and I find it so upsetting so please just spend all the time you can with him while you can . Take care and sending you and your Dad all the best . Eileen X 

Hi Eileen,

thank you so much for taking the time and trouble to reply to me and I am so sorry to hear of your battle too. Yes I promise I will just be there to support my dad in whatever he decides and will just try and make things as easy as I possibly can for him. I'm the one that makes him laugh so that's what I will try and carry on doing.

i cannot get over how brave and lovely everyone is on this forum and I really do appreciate you all sharing your stories and advice.

Godbless xx

Hi Eileen, I hope Wendy won't mind me messaging you on her page, but I wanted to touch base with you. I don't recall any of your posts, so I wasn't aware that you are so far advanced with your disease. I'm so sorry to read this. I will watch for your posts from now on.

Take care.

Lorraine