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My dad has terminal cancer

Zen
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Hi guys, ive found out today that my dad has got cancer that cant be treated and the doctors cant say how long hes got left. Ive just turned 18, my sister is 26 and my brother is 16, I know that theres nothing I can do about his illness but I wish there was. Its killing me that he wont be there with us for important stages in our lives and I just need someone to talk to who has been through this too. I need advice on how I can take each day, what to do with work (as I work full time) and just anything anyone can say to make me feel a bit better. I cant help but think maybe he could get through this.

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    Hi Zen, 

    I can relate to your situation. My dad was just diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer. I am 26 and my sister is 24, so I think we are almost in similar life situations. I have also thought about him and not being at the important milestones in mine and my sister's life. Weddings, grandchildren, first house, car, etc.

    But, one thing I would say is I try not to think about the future so much. Try to live in the moment, and try to enjoy each day as it comes. When I think too far ahead into the future, I get depressed. Have you told people at work about your dad? If this is affecting your work performance, I would tell your boss or manager. It might be better for them to know if you need to leave work or need to call in. I hope this has made you feel a little better. Always feel free to talk!

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    Hi Darlings,Big Hugs! My Dad, has Terminal lung cancer and they are starting him on palliative Chemo tomorrow, I know I cant fix things or take away the emotional pain,Just do all that you can for your Dad. spend as much time now as you possibly can. cook him his fav meals, watch movies, talk . the biggest gift you can receive in life is time. I know what your saying in regards to those life moments and it also brings tears to my eyes too that he will never get to see his grandchildren e.c.t . there are some wonderful websites that help with anticipatory grief. nothing but nothing can prepare anybody to face this awful disease. your not alone. big hugs and keep faith.
  • Offline in reply to Maz34
    Hi all, i'm in similar situation to you all. My dad got diagnosed with cancer of the oesophagus a couple of weeks ago, and two days ago we found out it's spread quite considerably - he too will be starting on palliative chemo next week sometime. I'm 34, and only met my other half a year ago, and am starting to think whether my dad will ever see my get married/meet his grandkids. It's so incredibly sad, and to top it all off i went to a wedding the day after i found out, which was SO SO SOOO hard to keep it together at. My parents only just moved down to their favourite place to retire a few months ago...but at least he's there now, and so's my mum. We have lots of friends and family who are going to visit them, so there's lots of support and love which is good. I'm also only an hour away now, rather than 5 hours which I was before they moved. Stay positive guys, at the end of the day our dads won't want us to be upset all of the time. Getting on with our lives and being happy is what they want, so to send positivity their way is the way to go. x

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