Hello Jade, I couldn't ignore your post because we are both going through the same thing. Im so sorry your mum has been recently diagnosed with cancer, its so awful.

My dad was diagnosed April 2015 with 'stage 4 incurable bowel cancer' which had spread to his lungs and liver by the time he was diagnosed. He didn't want to know his prognosis because nobody really knows how long someone has got. They are only estimated time frames based on statistics but everyone different and many factors can play a part. I'm 27 so basically the same age as you. I too have found it so so so hard and it kind of feels like the grieving process had taken place right from the start, I guess I'm grieving for the future that my Dad won't be a part of one day. We know he will die eventually and even being able to admit that he will is so hard. Ive obviously had longer to deal with my dad's diagnosis than you have with your mum and I must say it has gotten a little easier although it's still very painful 18 months later. My dad was very poorly when he was diagnosed and he had lost about 3-4 stone, he was so weak and tired we thought he wasn't going to last too long but he has...and he's been coping very well and has even put on a few stone since last summer. Do you have much support around you? Family? Big hugs to you because I know how hard and upsetting it is! Don't ever feel guilty about the way you feel, we are all entitled to feel the way we do. I've been diagnosed with depression currently taking a high dose of medication which does help take the edge off of things and makes me cope a lot better. Like you, I Googled non stop about bowel cancer because I just wanted answers...ones that I didn't have. I wanted to prepare myself, find successful stories, even a cure...desperate to help my dad. If you ever need a chat please feel free to talk to me. I understand every emotion regarding a parent having cancer.

Hi Jade123, 

I can relate to some of what you are feeling. i am 26 years old and my dad is 63, he was just diagnosed with Stage IV Prostate Cancer. I can say that those feelings do begin to subside a little bit, and not be so intense. We just found out about my dad in July, so it's been a couple months for us. If you ever need to talk or vent, I'm always here to chat! One thing I have found that helps me a little bit is to try to stay in the moment as much as possible. Try not to think about the statistics and what your lfie will be like a year from now, or five years from now. I find that focusing on that makes me even more depressed. I hope some of this has helped you a little bit, and if you have any questions or anything, just ask! 

And don't feel guilty! It's totally natural to be upset right now! Especially being the age that we are, I don't think a lot of people think about their parent's mortality so much in their 20's. I just wanted to send my thoughts your way, and just know that you aren't alone in this. We are here for you!