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My mums just been diagnosed

elzbelz17
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I've just found out that my mum has been diagnosed with cancer, and is about to start radio therapy and chemo in a few weeks

however me and my sisters are all at uni, and she has told us she wants us to continue with our studies, she doesnt seem to want to talk about it to any of us. 

i've been thinking of coming home from my university every other week, but i'm not sure if that is what she wants me to do or needs  me to do. I dont really know how to bring this topic up with her or my dad, as i feel as though there is an unspoken rule that her cancer doesnt get spoken about unless there is new information, as everyone seems to be trying to be strong for each other by not mentioning it.

I've always been really close to my mum, but now i feel as though there is a bit of distance between us because there is a lot of things that are being unsaid. 

If anyone has any advice on how to aproach the topic of me coming home weekly to my parents,as im not sure how to bring this up.

I just feel really helpless and a bit selfless by staying at uni, and not being at home.

  • Offline

    Hi elzbelz17, 

    I'm very sorry to hear about your mom.  

    I just wanted to tell you that you aren't alone in feeling this way. I am also going back to school in the Fall, and my dad was just diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer. We aren't sure how long he has left, but this news came as a huge shock for all of us. I just moved out as well. I am still living in the same city, and I usually do some things with my family throughout the week. I personally think that it's a good idea to go home every other week, or to visit as often as possible. 

    If your mom doesn't have much time left, I'm sure that she would want you to continue with your school, and do thigns that make you happy. That's one of the hardest things since we want to spend as much time as we can with our parents, but we also need to remember that we can't always put our lives on hold. If you need to chat, I'm always here. Just wanted you to know you aren't alone in this!!

  • Offline in reply to GiftThePresent

    Hi!

    I'm really sorry to hear about your dad and hope you are doing okay.I'm sure he his very strong and will appreciate that you are still close by to make visits to see him often. 

    I agree with you thats important to do normal things with your family as much as you can! Its just hard to find the right balance between acting like nothings happening and knowing when the right time to talk about what is going on :/ 

     

    if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me also! 

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