Hi Karen, welcome to the forum, but sorry for why you're here. Let me say first of all that your post caught my eye right away by your question, "how can I help her?" This is such a powerful and appropriate first step in helping your friend that I wish everyone would take when a friend or family member is diagnosed or told they have cancer. Your friend at this point, likely doesn't even know what to say because she probably doesn't know herself at this point how you can help her. But, you've left that door open so she will feel okay about asking for your help once she recovers from the shock and then she will know how you can help.

Most of us at first diagnosis are in shock when told we have cancer. The big "C" scares all of us because years ago, a diagnosis of cancer meant almost certain death and that old belief just isn't the case anymore. For sure, a journey with cancer can be a very challenging one with surgeries/treatments, being sick, etc. that none of us would choose to be on, but we don't have a choice here. A cancer diagnosis is no longer a death sentence. Some people can actually be cured, but if not, many people live for years with cancer and periodic treatments/surgeries, etc.

To get back to your friend, just knowing that you will be there for her will mean so much to her right now. A lot of people can't, (or don'e want) to be supportive when a friend or loved one is diagnosed with cancer. Believe it or not, some people believe they can "catch cancer" by being around a person with it or it may be a reminder that no one is immune to getting cancer. Just be there for your friend for now and as time goes on, she will be able to tell you what you can do to help. Your presence in her life right now means so much to her and will be invaluable as time goes on. Maybe she needs to talk about her fears around the diagnosis and just needs an ear to listen.

In practical ways, I'm sure you will see things that you can do and make the offer, e.g. accompany her to medical apts. (if you're able), go for lunch, spend time just doing nothing, help her to tidy her home, go to a movie, etc. You have the main ingredient, "you asked the question - how do I help her?"

You sound like the friend everyone should have when diagnosed with cancer. Bless you. Sending you and your friend a big hug.

Lorraine