Feeling Sad

Hi, it's the first tiem i'm posting on here and i felt a bit sceptical because i've never really fully told anyone just how i feel. My beuatiful brother has recentley been diagnosed with Bowel Cancer.....it felt like my whole world had collapsed. My big brother, my only brother, my sweet brother. He has learning difficulties so he is even more precious to me. We have always had a great bond and brilliant relationship. When we learnt of this awful condition i couldnt absorb it. We have known for just over 2 weeks and my brother doesnt know what cancer is or what death is......i suppose this is a blessing in a way, at least he will still have that inner strength to fight. When i saw him today at the hospital, i just couldnt believe my eyes. He has lost so much weight, his cheeks have become hollow, his collar bone is sticking out, i could even feel his shoulder blades as i hugged him. My brother has always been slightly overweight, the doctors even suggested slightly obese. To see him so thin makes me want to cry. His face has changed, and i know this might sound horrible but he doesnt look like my brother who has been one of those people you just want to cuddle. I keep looking at the pictures i took today and it makes me cry knowing that there is nothing i can physically do to make him better. i just want him better. We were told he has 6-12 months.....why? I'm sorry for this long post but i dont want to turn to my family because we are all feeling the same thing and i dont want us all to break down and cry because we need to stay strong for one another. xxx

  • HI Eirrap, 

    I can relate to how you're feeling. I'm not in the same situation, but my dad was just diagnosed with Stage 4 prostate cancer. He has also lost a lot fo weight. I wouldn't say my dad was fat before, but he was sort of husky and very muscular. I think he has lost about 40 pounds or so, in the past few months. It can be hard to see your loved one waste away in front fo your eyes. I don't ewally have any advice since I also have a hard time seeing my dad in the state he is in. I'm just trying to live one day at a time, and trying to cherish the moments that I have left with my dad. i know this is hard, but if you want to talk I am always willing to listen. How old is your brother, if i may ask? 

    Try to cherish the mometns you have left. Hugs to you and your family. I will send my thoughts during this difficult time. And it's okay to cry. I've cried many days and nights about my father, but we do have to try to stay strong as well. I usually go into another room if my emotions get the best of me because I know my dad doesn't want to see me cry. He's been trying to tell me not to worry about him, although it seems that's all I do these days. I hope that knowing you aren't alone in these feelings helps a little bit, because I know there's not really much I can say to make you feel better.