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Husband diagnosed a week ago with bowel and liver cancer

Ivo
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My husband  and i are coming up to our 1st wedding annivsary soon  and i never thought it would be like this .... within a week he has part of his bowel removed in emergancy op because he had a tear in his bowel which lead him to doctors in the first plc ..after a ct scan we were given the bad news same day .... that it he bowel cancer which looks as though its gone to liver ... bowel surgeon said he felt 3 abnormalities on the liver ..... he removed as much of tumour as he could because it was attached also to his kidney .... i am mad because he did have a polop removed last yr when he had a camera up his bowel ...and carnt believe they have missed this .... the hospital used to let me sit with him all day but wont let me now (only visiting time ) so i am not getting to spend any one to one time with him ... i have been strong .... but last few days i feel like i have no energy and have the flu ...so i said i would not go see him today incase i pass anything on... he comes from a big family and i am trying to keep everyone updated ... feel so lonely as i have family from another town ...they have visited but when they go i just walk around the house crying .... one monute i think i should try go back to work ...next minute i cry in public out the blue ...so i know that will happen to me at work ... drained ....scared and confused because i feel we have no idea how bad it is or if he has hope or time .... its breaking my heart the stuff i read on internet i am guessing its stage 4 ...which outlook looks poor .... feel like me being strong for everyone is going out the window xx my thoughts are also with others who are going thro the same as me to xx

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    Hi Ivo

    I just seen your post so thought I'd reply. Firstly I'm so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis.

    My wife was diagnosed just over a year ago now with advanced bowel cancer. She had been coughing for weeks, losing weight and blood in her stools. Doctors kept fobbing her off trying to say it was just a bad virus etc, then it was pneumonia. She went back to the GP and a different GP seen her and immediately sent her to the hospital for scans/tests. All the tests were carried out aswell as a colonoscopy and were then taken hours later into the family room. The Dr informed us that they had found cancer in her bowel and that it has advanced to her liver. It honesty felt like a bomb had just gone off. Everyone was numb with the news and I am still, to this date, scared, angry, anxious etc. I just can't go back to who I was before, especially as we have two young children. My wife chose not to ask the oncologist any questions but I wanted to know a timeline and roughly what to expect in the future. I was even allowed to see the scan of her liver as that is where the main cancer has settled but is inoperable as over half is covered with tumours.

    I completely underdstand how you are feeling as I am honestly feeling it too. There is not a moment goes by that I think about it but come to work to try and take my mind off it but it doesn't. It is just always there now and as much as I want to remain positive, I know there is going to be a time when I have to become realistic with everything. Everything we ever planned is gone. We can't go out now without her tiring easily, restless nights and I even had to take our children away for a holiday abroad on my own to keep them away from all of this (although I know its going to be harder and harder as time goes on).

    It does sound like it is secondary but even though it is in the liver now, it is still classed as bowel cancer and as such, the treatment will target bowel cancer as liver cancer is completely different.

    I'm here if you need to chat or anything. Take care.

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    I'm ever so sorry to hear your husband has been diagnosed with bowel cancer. 

    I know how worrying and scary it is especially at the start when everything's fresh. Take each day as it comes because it can be an emotional roller coaster. Be kind to yourself and don't hesitate in asking for help or support if you feel you really need it. I know it's hard to remain positive at times especially when there's many unanswered questions. 

    I'm 27 years old, my Dad was diagnosed April last year so 14 months ago with stage 4 incurable bowel cancer which has spread to his lungs and liver. Before his diagnosis he'd lost a couple of stone in weight without trying so that was a warning sign, I think he had some trouble regarding bowel movements and had almost fainted a couple of times too. He'd been to the doctors and hospital for various tests and scans but nothing picked up on the cancer that was growing in his bowel. He knew something was seriously wrong and continued to hassle the doctors. He was eventually sent for more tests and we kind of thought if worse comes to worse it was cancer then he will be fine and be cured. But that wasn't the case and our lives dramatically changed. 3 months after diagnosis he had an emergency operation as he suffered from a bowel obstruction and almost died, he overcame it and Feb this year he suffered from a stroke which again he's recovered well from. He's barely had any chemo within that time as things have prevented him from having it but is doing incredibly well. He's gained about 3 stone since September last year, just returned from a 3 week holiday in Spain. You really wouldn't know how ill he is. I know the prognosis can look very poor for someone with advanced cancer but many do live for much longer than you probably think. Everyone's case is individual so there's nothing to say your husband can't recover from this at least until you know more. 

    Big hugs to you, I know how heartbreaking it is. X 

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