Well after a long 2 week wait ( because of the bank holiday) i get to find out if im going to loose my breast or what treatment or how bad it is.
To say i feel nervous is an understatment, to add to it its not till 3.25 im actually selling things on e bay to take my mind off being picked up by my mum. I have been on the loo all day with a nervous tummy. I am dreading everything the journey there, the wait, speaking to them. up untill now I had been able to keep busy and pretend its not happening to me. My family and friends texting me " Goodluck" it feels wrong to say that- its the kinda thing you wish someone on a driving test. I know they mean well but i feel nothing " BUT" goodluck at the moment. Today i put on some nice jeans and a new floaty navy top and i wondered if this will be the last time i will feel ok about wearing things like this. I know i am fearing the worst- being as my aunty had hers removed and radiotherepy i have already resigned myself that I will be the same. mostly because the consultant 2 weeks ago said straight away MASTETOMY.
also suddenly everyone uses " we" no its not WE they aren't going thou it. As much as they are well meaning they have no idea how "I " actually feel.
