Gutted, shocked, upset dont even come near. I am a fit and otherwise healthy 45 yr old, never smoked never done drugs pretty healthy lifestyle. had a tough 7years since my v long marriage ended. This just feels like the i cake ! i had been having rib pain for over a year, been for a scan, gone in to hosp twice had various test nothing showed . then i noticed a dip in my one boob at the bottom never seen before. Got up the docs she booked me a mamogram and then yesterday did a Biopsy there and then after another scan and It was a bolt of out the blue. on examining me he said oh yes theres a lump i never really felt one ! I did see it on the screen as she was monitoring me and i laid there thinking i can see a circle. Im numb i cant stop crying. The only words i heared from the consultant was MASTECTOMY. it feels so unfair. My aunty had breast cancer and she smoked v heavely we all though it was from her smoking. I read that stress can be a factor in breast cancer and wonder if the last 7 years of a stressful break up had taken its toll....? I have so many unanswered questions. I really could not HEAR anything they said to me after the man saying he was going to take off my breast. all i wanted to do was get out of that room ! My mum was holding back the tears, we had been clothes shopping for a holiday only an hour before, it was surreal i still cant get my head around it. I have to wait now 2 weeks for the actual results because of the bank holiday. I feel at the moment all i can do is breath ! I am still in bed and my dog is laid next to me. ( something hes not norm allowed to do) Its almost like he knows. Oddly yesterday before i left for the hospital he put his head into my chest and just stayed there for ages, it was really like he knew something. Hes a v inteligent dog collie/german shep. My kids are at the dads atm and I just wish i still had a husband to help me throu all this. I feel so alone..... sorry its a long one.
