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mass on Pancreas

Mikef
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Hi All,

I used this site 6 years ago when my Dad sadly passed away with brain cancer and I found it very helpful.

My brother in law is 46 and has been ill for over 12 months starting with gastric problems and not being able to keep food inside him. After every test know to man and various opinions from so called specialists he was told that they thought it was his gall bladder and he was due to have it removed in the next month.He has also lost over 3 stones and is very frail. Last week he went for a blood test and went a yellow colour and his GP told him that he needed to be admitted to hospital straight away. (Thurs evening.) After sitting there for ever with my poor sister they finally got to have a CT scan on Sunday morning and he was told that he had a mass on his pancreas. He has been told that it could be cancer but it may also be benign but they won't know until a meeting had been held with specialists to see the best course of action and they will also discuss his scans.  My sister has never really got over the loss of my Mum & Dad. (Mum died in between Dad being diagnosed with brain tumors and him passing away. 3 months between them). She is totally devastated with the news and my brother in law is also in shock and very emotional.   They have 2 kids 14 & 18 and want to keep it from them until they know exactly what the situation is.   I need to be there to support my younger sister as she only has me and my brother and our families. My brother in laws Dad had stomach cancer and passed away 2 years ago and his brother and sister and Mum don't really deal with crisis well !  Any advice on how to support them would be appreciated.  Mike

  • Offline

    Hi Mike

     was diagnosed in JAn 2016 with pancreatic cancer after havig my gall bladder removed a year earlier. A bit of a shock to say the least.

    My overwhelming experience has been having thelove and support from family and friends who are also overcome with the news but are willing and eager to give what they can. A couple of things I would suggest, firstly do consider telling the children what is ging on so they can prepare and be supported i themselves.

    Also push the people organising the potential treatments and tests to get things going this should include finding ways to build up the body so any teatments can be considered. Find out about all the options for potential treatment in your area and contact local groups for other information.

    Talk with your sister about options and help her to get action started getting things done will not only occupy her but give potential benefits in the outcome.

    Spread thenews about the illness to friends and family so they can offer support even if it's only something simple (e.g. getting a pint of milk).

    Let your sister vent her feelings and see if you can direct her to ways to get support.

    I hope these few words help it is difficult but communication and information will assist you all and remember to push for the tests and treatments this should be done under fast track arrangements.

    All the very best

    David

  • Offline in reply to deafy

    Hello David,

    Thank you so much for your reply and I am really sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with the same illness. Until yesterday teatime I thought that my Brother in Law had just been told he had a mass on his pancreas that could be benign or cancerous. He had 2 further scans yesterday and has been told that he has cancer and it appears to be very aggressive. He was waiting to have his gall bladder removed and it seems that like you the pancreas was missed. I have read that it is one of the most difficult forms of cancer to spot early and also to operate on. He has been referred to the Royal Liverpool Hospital and some specialists will study his scans today at a meeting and he will then be given details of where to go from there. He was meant to have his bile duct drained to reduce the jaundice but he was told yesterday that it's too deep in the duct and they will have to work out another way. Possibly in through his side. I have read enough to know that it's going to be tough on everyone and I really admire your bravery for writing on this site it's very inspiring. They have said that they will tell the kids today when they know for certain what they have to deal with and I will take your advice and seek out whatever help and advice is available and try to point my sister towards it. When my Dad passed away from brain tumours 6 years ago I used every website and phone number avialable as my sister and younger brother found that difficult but it helped me massively and also it was good to talk with people like you. My brother in law has had freinds from all over offering to assist as he is a self employed carpenter and has work piling up. Me and my brother will be there for them today when they get the prognosis and we will be there as long as they need us for whatever is needed. My wife is also a close mate of my sister so she will be there too as well as the rest of the family as we are all very close. I should have said literally close as we all live in adjacent avenues which in circumstances like this is a godsend. 

    Thanks again David for your support and I hope that things are not too bad for you. Stay as strong as you can and I am glad that you have good family to support you.

    Speak soon.

    Mike

  • Offline in reply to Mikef

    Hi Mike

    as usual it's silly o' clock. I'm often awake throughout the night as I am now free to do whatever I want or can do. I'm glad that my few mistyped words were of some use to you.

    Of course I was sorry to hear how agressive the cancer is in your brother in law. I'm very aware that I look at this situation from where I sit and in some ways wonder how families and friends will cope with it all. I am lucky to have my group and as I said it is important to lean on them all when you can. 

    If you can, and get the opportunity, to enjoy time with your brother in law it's important  to grasp that and talk with him about his wishes and hopes, because we still have them and we sometimes need reassurance that others understand that.

    I'm also glad to hear that you are physically close to each other as it's possible to pop around whenever you need, my daughters also live near me and give me great support although it's still a bit daunting at times. I really hope that some respite comes your families way and that some good times still lay ahead.

    Just to let you know that I am on enzyme relacement therapy to help me absorb nutrients which has help build me up for my chemo. 

    Keep pluging away and I wish you and yours all the best.

    David

  • Offline in reply to deafy

    Hi David,

    Thanks for your message, yesterday my brother in law was given some news that has shattered him and my sister. The further scans have revealed that things are further on than they all thought and a plan of treatment has been set fro next week including Chemo and some form of op to drain his bile dict to reduce the jaundice and risk of infection.  They are both totally drained emotionally and they also told the 2 kids 14 & 18 yesterday which was really tough.  I went to see my sister this morning to offer some comfort and my brother in law called her while I was there and we had a chat for 20 mins or so.  He is a fighter and has vowed to fight and I am glad that he has that frame of mind. I said that he has 2 choices he can roll over and give up or fight and live as well as he can ! He was inspired by an old boy in the bed next to him (an ex marine) his matter of fact attitude made him straighten up and think positively. He said to him "I wake up in the morning and I go to bed at night. I'm alive and thats what matters".

    I did notice your messages at 4.30ish and I know that you must be going through the same emotions up and down and no matter what friends or family say to try and help it's only you that really knows what you feel.

    I hope that your Chemo gives you some form of relief and thank you for taking the time to write to me.

    Keep as strong as you can David and keep inspiring people.

    Hope to hear from you soon.

    Thanks again.

    Mike

  • Offline in reply to Mikef

    Hi Mike

    news about the situation is always worrying and when it seems bad it drains and tires you out, BUT this is the start of the plan to make life more effective and enjoyable for your family. 

    Each person is different in the way that chemo effects them I can say that it will seem hard at the begining and treatment may be adjusted but hang in there for a couple of cycles and things will hopefully start to resolve. 

    Be involved as much as you can in planning and supporting your family around this experience and write things down that you want to find out so that you don't forget to ask ( always what happpens with me LOL )

    I really hope you start getting some more encouraging news soon and I agree that the one day at a time attitude is a great one to perfect.

     

    TAke care and all the best

    DAvid

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