Thankyou X 

Hiya twinklestar so sorry to hear about your mum

I lost my dad to cancer just over a year ago, and my mum was diagnosed in January with lung cancer. She was told it is incurable and that it had spread to some parts of her bones ! I do not know how old you are but I am only 22 and I am facing the issue of losing her too! I completely sympathise and empathise with you. The hardest thing is seeing your parent poorly and go downhill and knowing there is not a huge amount you can do! It took ages for her cancer to be diagnosed as the GP kept pushing her away with antibiotics yet I knew something weren't right so I demanded she go back again and went to make sure they proceeded for further investigation, which they did. Yet if I hadn't got her into that appointment, we may not have found out!! 

Thinking of you!

Love Charlotte X 

Hi Charlotte think I replied to you in another thread sorry I'm new to this ! I am so hurt Charlotte I can't imagine how you must of felt losing your dad and now your poor mum :( my mum is the same lung that has spread to multiple and bone . I have hardly any words to say how I feel one of them is desperate and you are right about the Gp my mum went back over 2 years and the same they kept giving her tablets for a sore acid stomach , I'm so angered by this it's untrue I feel like I should've gone with her like it's partly my fault for not demanding more . How is your mum ? I'm just 29 my mum is 51 how old is your do you mind me asking?  It's nice to talk to people who know how you feel ,thinkin of you . Stacey X 

Hi Stacey! 

Funnily enough I just replied to your comment in the other post I believe! I'm so sad to hear of your mum! It's shocking how common cancer is now! It's almost like catching the common cold! So sad!...and yeh the consultant said the first place for lung cancer to spread to is the bones! And yeh! I find that GP's will just pop pills out all the time without getting to the problem! I think the thing with lung cancer is that it shows barely any symptoms during early stages! They only show when it's too late! I only got tough with the GP because I had already been through enough and I got fed up of them pushing my mum away! I'm not an angry person, however when it comes to having just one parent left, you just get more fight in you! It is so sad and does make you so angry that the GP's do what they do, however they never change!! 

My mum is in a lot of pain with the bone side of things. Iv never seen her so poorly! And she has fluid on the lung (pleural effusion) which I'm draining off regularly. It's so Frustrating as 1 of my sisters lives at home with us yet she does nothing to help or support mum or me! And she's 25! 3 years older than me! My mum is going to be 45 next week! So she's only young too also! 

How is your mum doing with it? 

Big love to you Stacey!

Charlotte X 

You are right none of us are exempt are we , since finding out I've been doing lots of research and food is so important we all eat the wrong things in the western diet . We found out a about a week ago on my birthday we sat in the consultant room and he showed us the ct scans and said that they would be taking a biopsy on the bone to find out how best to aid treatment that was two weeks ago and nothing so we are chasing the hospital tomorrow typical it's all fallen on bank holiday . I know what you mean about the family thing too it's frustrating it's like they don't understand how you feel as it's not directly happening to them but when you are Close with mum it's like you're going through it too . I feel so bad that you are so young and your mum and facing this :( life is so cruel you ant understand what you've done or mum to deserve this . And I know what you mean about pain too like you never seen my mum in so much pain it's awful she has a lot of pain in the hip area it's like you want to wrap them up in a bubble so they can't get hurt or take it on yourself so they don't have to have the pain ! Xx

Exactly!!! Nobody is safe from cancer and it's a scary thought! And yeah hospitals never seem to get back to you on things!!! They took a biopsy of mums cells on the lungs to provide more accurate treatment! Which was only to take few weeks, that was going back in January!!!  However I know exactly what you mean!!! It's like you and your mum are 1 person, anything she feels you feel! Nobody sees the pain and suffering! People from the outside come in and see your mum on a better day and just assume she's fine when actually she's not! She's taking oramorph, and slow release morphine too! People don't take it seriously when it's a serious illness!!! You constantly wonder why you are being punished for no reason! So sad !! I don't know about you but I always want to hide anything away cancer related, like anything comes on tv I want to change channels...ect...also you can never fully explain to people how you feel because they don't understand! They try to fix things but it frustrates you because they don't know what they are doing! Xx

Hello Twinklestar, 

So sorry to hear about your mother's recent diagnosis. It's such a hard and worrying time for you both. I can sympathise with you because my Dad was diagnosed almost a year ago with stage 4 'incurable' bowel cancer which has spread to his lungs and liver. My father's older, he's 63 and I'm turning 27 in two weeks time. So I'm still very young to be dealing with losing a parent sooner than I thought I would. But somehow we find the strength to cope. It may not appear that way at this moment in time but as time goes on you will find this incredible strength you never knew you had. Do you have any support from family or friends? X 

Hi, so sorry to hear about your mum. I know exactly what your going through. Three weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal lung cancer, hes only 49 and im 22. Its so awful. The most you can do is wherever possible stay upbeat and positive and be there for him as much as you can, thats what im doing. My dad went into hospital last monday with pnemonia, more blood clots and a bad chest infection, they have given him steroids and antibiotics and he is slowly clearing up however his breathing is awful and they are keeping him in for observation as i dont think he will be able to come home without the additional oxygen. Friday they are telling us what we can do with the chemo and hopefully an expected life expetancy. How is your mum feeling? 

Thinking of you 

xx

Hi there , 

I'm sorry about your dad it is heartbreaking to say the least something you never think would happen is your dad on chemo ? 

Hi Twinklestar

Really sorry that you find yourself here and yes it's really difficult to deal with at any age but especially when young. My wife died last october and my son and daughter were 22 and 21 at the time.

As Charlotte said there are some cancers, stomach and lung for example that are really difficult to spot in thearly stages particularly when the few symptoms are the same as very many other minor conditions. For example I was recently sent for an endoscopy because I'd had many years back and forth with stomach acid and indigestion and was on the pills - turns out I have a small hiatus hernia which is very very common with people over 40, half the country seems to be on lansaprasole for it. So spotting the cancer patients within that list is really hard.

There ae guidelines to GPs of when they ought to send people for further investigations they're public and you can see them here:

www.nice.org.uk/.../1-Recommendations-organised-by-site-of-cancer

The holy grail would be a simple test that GPs could do in a surgery to determine whether someone did or did not have early stage cancer or even that they ought to be referred but we don't have that yet but people are working on it like this here www.telegraph.co.uk/.../Simple-blood-test-could-one-day-diagnose-all-cancers.html

It sounds as if you are doing wonderfully well in supporting your mum and while its so worrying try and find ways to have a bit of fun with her too. She's going to be fretting over it too and just taking the time to have a laugh over stuff and just take you minds off of things even for a short while is just so wonderful.

Best of luck