Welcome to the forum and just thought I would respond which will bump your post up to the top again (so to speak) and hope others will be along shortly to give their thoughts. 

My Dad was diagnosed with prostate/secondary lung cancer in his early 80's (My Mum being his carer). He was offered choice between chemo and/or palliative care. Whilst we were involved throughout he made it very clear that it was his decision alone because he needed to feel what was right for him and wanted to take the 'sensible and realistic option'.  He spoke at length with his oncologist and other professionals who had obviously explained everthing very clearly to him.  They never offered a time line either way and his decision was to let the illness take it's course.  We will never know  how much longer he may have had with chemotherapy and everybody reacts differently to treatment but he was happy with his decision and passed away shortly after his 85th birthday (and just after his 58th wedding anniversary which we all felt had been his goal).

I am not sure this will help with your  husband's decision making as I cannot tell you how any treatment would affect his wellbeing.  Some people get through chemo with few side effects and it can give a good quality of life (or get rid of the cancer in curable cases).  Sadly others struggle with treatment and it has to be stopped (this was the case with my own husband (diagnosed at 60)). I have no medical experience and this is a personal viewpoint and such decisions are very personal.  You may care to post your questions on the Ask the Nurses section of the forum but would imagine that your principal guidance will rest with your husband's medical team

. I hope you have good family support and do come and chat on the forum anytime as there will be a lot of people who have understanding of what it feels like to be facing difficult choices.  Best wishes Jules54

Jules,

I very much appreciated your response to my post...and the information about your family.

I'm in an extreme dilemma right now.  We had an appointment with the Oncologist Friday.  My husband chose to undergo Chemo treatment and it's scheduled for this next  Thursday, the 24th.

However, I don't know if he can get to treatment.  Here at home, he can't even reach the bathroom.  I'll have to buy a portable wheelchair tomorrow....but  I wish I could have Hospice help. Is there an option to reach his Doctor to change plans?

~ Joyce

Hi Joyce

I am not sure how your medical services run things.(I am in the UK)  My husband was still able to drive himself when he began chemotherapy but also had the option to use our hospital pick up/transfer services or a taxi if he preferred not to wait around. We had direct telephone line to his doctor (GP) and also to the hospital day ward where he would receive treatment and could contact them at any time. Maybe the best thing to do would be to contact your husband's doctor and explain how things are just now as I am sure they will be the best people to offer advice and they would only give chemotherapy treatment if they felt his body was able to manage it (over here my husband had blood test taken and general health check up prior to each treatment being arranged (usually a few days before the chemo was given). Wishing you both all the very best.  Jules

Hi Joyce

Everything does become a worry when you do not know where to get the specialised help you may require; Hope a chat with the doctor will help with your understanding of how best to proceed.  More than happy to chat and I try and check into the site fairly regularly (the forum has been my buddy for most of hubby's journey prior to his passing last year and onwards).  People here understand the feelings you go through even if they manage things differently in other parts of the world.  I have never been to the US but my husband went several times for business. It is lovely to know that you have good memories of your visits here.  Take care. Jules  

Thanks, Jules...

I'll post again tomorrow...IF I can make contact with his Doctor.

~Joyce

p.s.  I still have a pen (even though it's out of ink) from the Chelsea Flower Show 1998

Hope you had some answers from the doctor and things seem a little clearer now.

Well you have done something I have never got round to (but would love) and that was visit the Chelsea Flower Show. It is always nice to have a souvineer of good memories made when travelling. My hubby's boss imported a Harley three wheeler after one trip to the States (and have a pic of my hubby astride it! whilst it was still in the US).  Take care. Jules

Jules,

Things aren't going well here.  John's dementia is worse, and he just WON'T do what I ask, plead or insist... Food, water, pills....  Don't know if we'll ever get to treat the cancer.

I bought a 'walker'.  I bought a portable wheelchair,  I bought a bedside commode....nothing is being utilized/.  I'm so discouraged and ready to give up.  Tomorrow he needs to get a blood test....and then drink two to three quarts of water in prep for the chemo. Ya shur...

Listen, sorry to vent, but I'm heartbroken

 ~J.

Bless you Joyce this is just so difficult a time for you  both.  Your poor husband must be so confused as to what is happening to him as with dementia  nothing will make much sense to him and all you want to do is be a comfort.  It was heartbreaking looking after my husband and he did not have the added problems of mental illness.  Having bought so much equipment to help I can understand your feeling heartbroken but always remember you can only do  your best and you are there for him.  Hope you can get some support and that you do manage to talk with his doctor. Virtual hugs. Jules

I appreciate your support, Jules.

Will let you know later how the day goes