Hi amd welcome to the forum, though sorry for the reason you find yourself here. 

It must have been very distressing to have come so close to having your op done! (Understatement!) 

I think many of us go into 'protection' mode - protecting those closest to us, but I've learned over the time from my diagnosis to present time, that there is only so much you can protect your love ones from and by sharing with my family and friends, I have felt more supported. This has been especially the case when attending consultations as most of find we are unable to take in and digest a high percentage of the information we're told during these appointments, so to have another pair of ears or someone making notes has been invaluable. You don't mention how old your daughter is (my children are 26 amd 23) and they have dealt with each step of my illness far better than I anticipated they would. 

Presumably you have been allocated a specialist nurse to contact - if not, your surgeon's secretary could be a point of contact? 

Many of us can also relate to your way of dealing with your situation through the medium of humour ; again, that protection mode! Do you have a close friend who you can offload to? The forum has been a godsend f

for so many of us and I hope you'll find it a good place to come and share your feelings, rant, get things off your chest, ask for information (The Nurses are available to speak to directly or by posting your questions in the Ask The Nurses section on the forum) 

Sorry for the long ramble, my reply will bump ypur thread back up,to the top of the forum where hopefully, others will be along to help support you too. 

Take care and keep us posted as to how you're doing. 

Sending a hug, Jo x

Thank you meercat. My daughter is in her early 30's but lost her father last year to pancreatic cancer, not to mention a whole heap of other negative life changing challenges, hence my dilemma. I suppose my difficulties relate to uncertainties.." It might JUST be Colon Cancer or it might not..the 50/50 odds are getting me down. One minute I'm upbeat the next I'm angry and then another mood comes along..I have always been the sorter outer both in my private life and my professional ( I have been a social worker for the last 30 years) and I'm struggling to know how to act. I suppose I just need this OP to proceed and get proper answers. Better frame of mind today. Just wanted to hear from people who understand and who don't try to kill me with kindness/sympathy or ignore the issues completely. Contrary madam or what!!

I was just diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday, I was on my own and first instinct was to tell very few and just do it on my own. I live with my daughter but do have a boyfriend. I ended it with him yesterday, very matter of fact. I didn't tell my daughter and still haven't. I told my sister who was devastated but I kept up this very calm, matter of fact, won't need anyone front. But as soon as I was alone in bed I broke down and was a wreck. Today I opened up a bit more with my poor bf who was still shell shocked both from my news but also at me just telling him I wanted to do it without him. I feel much better today because I've realised I can't and don't want to do it myself. I am going to swallow my pride and take every bit of support on offer because I would do it for them and I don't think it will aid the process if I'm forever hiding how I really feel. Sorry for such long message but honestly my advice as one strong independent person to another is let let people in and give yourself best chance of beating this. Thinking of you  x

Thanks Ana, your right of course, I know you are. I am lucky to have a close group of friends around me who are being incredible. However, the fault is with me..one moment I want to talk the next I don't..I'm struggling with not working and being able to focus on other stuff. It's the waiting that gets me down and the doubt re diagnosis. It is Cancer but hospital don't yet know how extensive..Colon Cancer is beginning to feel the better option and almost like going to the dentist! It is reassuring that we all get to feeling this way in the early stages. x

Hi, so sorry to read about how your daughter lost her father last year, and the other challenges she's faced. I can see your dilemma. 

Early on in my diagnosis, I found it helpful to write things down - almost like a journal - pouring my thoughts whether humorous, angry, etc onto paper! It was amazing how once I started, the written words just flowed; often easier to write things than say them to family and friends, plus I was able to decide who I shared these words with (in my case, just myself!)  

Over time, I've looked back at these words and it's been both refreshing and reassuring to see how far I've come! 

Hope it doesn't sound like a daft suggestion, but it helped me and gave me a focus while waiting for outcomes! 

Please keep posting to let us know how you're doing! Jo x