Hello Laura,

I'm going through hell at the moment. Waiting for my appointment to get any clarification. I had cervical smear test done and it came up as I might have a cancer. Blood test for ovarian cancer came back with bad news as well on top of everything I found that I have lump in my left brest.. All I do is worry about everything. A year ago I had blood in my urine. For few days but my kidneys seems okay. Because of all this pandemic I could not have any scan or check up. In last few months I keep bleeding between periods, I feel ill. I'm losing weight. If I eat it just a bit. I feel like my life going only worse and worse. I'm pushing away on my loved once. Because all I do is cry. Me and my partner argue a lot. And I blame myself for it because the state I am in. Yesterday I spend all day in hospital with bad chest pain. I got 2 injection and they let me out. I decided to find people who going through something similar or already are in good place. Last night I had suicidal thoughts and that scared me. I felt I would be better for every one... Im only 32. I'm trying to be positive I'm going to work as normal. I cannot manage mentally anymore everything is just gone beyond my control. I keep pushing my GP all I heard I called hospital someone will go back to me in 7 days. I'm glad you are feeling better and you gone stronger xx

Cookie. 

Hello Laura,

I'm going through hell at the moment. Waiting for my appointment to get any clarification. I had cervical smear test done and it came up as I might have a cancer. Blood test for ovarian cancer came back with bad news as well on top of everything I found that I have lump in my left brest.. All I do is worry about everything. A year ago I had blood in my urine. For few days but my kidneys seems okay. Because of all this pandemic I could not have any scan or check up. In last few months I keep bleeding between periods, I feel ill. I'm losing weight. If I eat it just a bit. I feel like my life going only worse and worse. I'm pushing away on my loved once. Because all I do is cry. Me and my partner argue a lot. And I blame myself for it because the state I am in. Yesterday I spend all day in hospital with bad chest pain. I got 2 injection and they let me out. I decided to find people who going through something similar or already are in good place. Last night I had suicidal thoughts and that scared me. I felt I would be better for every one... Im only 32. I'm trying to be positive I'm going to work as normal. I cannot manage mentally anymore everything is just gone beyond my control. I keep pushing my GP all I heard I called hospital someone will go back to me in 7 days. I'm glad you are feeling better and you gone stronger xx

Cookie. 

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time at the moment Cookie and that it's starting to impact on your mental health. I do hope the thoughts you had were fleeting but if these do pop up again do try and speak to someone about this, whether it be your partner, close friend or even your GP, as I'm sure they wouldn't want you to be feeling this way and will do all that they can to help.

The mental health charity, Mind, have some very handy information on coping with such thoughts and the Samartians are available to listen and offer support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on 116 123. The NHS Every Mind Matters website has a lot of guidance and advice you may find useful for managing your mental health as well.

Our community know how difficult situations like this can be so I'm sure they will offer their support to you soon but in the meantime, I hope the links I have provided will help and things start to improve soon.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Cookie,

Sorry I'm just now responding to your post. It is so important to talk to someone about what you are going through! I got into therapy after my diagnosis and after treatment was done and it made all the dfference. I learned coping skills and that a lot of people have the same fears about their health. When you are worrying all the time it really takes a toll on you mentally and physcially. I hope you are feeling better soon and get the help you need, you're worth it! Taking charge of your health is so empowering and helps get rid of that nagging health anxiety issue. 

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Laura xx