Hi ocean

Just thought I would welcome you to the forum though sad to read why you need to be here.

My husband was diagnosed with incurable cancer at the age of 60 and like your Mum had not been ill previously.  It's a terrible shock for everyone to begin with and we basically coped on a day to day  basis, adjusting our life as his symptoms became more of an issue.  We still planned ahead and cancelled if he could not manage something.  My husband did not like to talk about his illness and we tried to keep things as normal as possible for as long as we could. I carried on working part time until five days before he passed away (nearly three years on from diagnosis) and if he wanted to do something we tried our best to do it.  This forum was my companion for two years during his illness and I am still chatting a year after his passing - somehow it just helps to talk with those who truly understand. 

If you need support for yourself, family or your Mum you can get in touch with MacMillan or talk to your own GP and see if there are services that are available for you both.  If you want specific information as regards your Mum's particular cancer it would  be worth mentioning that in the title of your post and then others with specific info may be able to offer more support. Take care  Jules54

Hi Jules,

Sorry I didn't post again to thank you for your kind words. My mother passed away in April. She suffered immensely and was a shadow of herself by the time she passed away. However she had the most amazing care at the hospice. She was also incredibly strong a bad tried to shield my sisters and I from as much pain as possible by smiling through her horrendous illness. It's been the worst time of myself and my sisters and dad's lives. I want also pregnant during my mum's illness and so incredibly sad that she didn't get to see her grandchild. 

We are all coping ok actually. I have decided not to think too much about her as I find I cannot function if I do. This may not be particularly healthy but it is working for me at the moment so I am able to get on with daily life. 

I hope you you are keeping well. Thank you again for responding to my story. I agree that mostly it's people who have been through loss that have been most understanding.

Take Care,

Ocean 

Hi Ocean, 

I'm sorry to hear that your mother passed away in April and on behalf of the Cancer Chat team I just wanted to offer our condolences to you and your family.

I'm sorry that she wasn't able to meet her grandchild but she will live on through the memories you, your sisters and your father have of her and share with your little one. 

I'm glad that you're all coping ok at the moment but if you ever do feel like you need to chat we are here for you if you need us.

Best wishes to you and your family, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Ocean

My condolences on the loss of your Mum in April and know it will have been an emotional time for all of the family. When my Dad passed away he was well cared for aat the hospice and that bought some comfort as well as knowing that he was finally free from the pain that his cancer caused.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby and hope he/she will bring much joy into your life.  When the time is right you will tell him/her all about their granny and part of her genetics will, of course be passed on. This is how I will take things forward as my hubby did not get to meet our son's first child(my first grand-daughter) as she was born around 16 months after his passing.

However you choose to grieve it is a very personal journey and I think we all have coping mechanisms that in time help us to move forward.  Wishing you all best wishes and always take time to be kind to yourself. Jules