Hi there Smurf, welcome to the forum and sorry to hear that you have Stage 4 lung cancer and your days with your young family are now numbered. Hearing that news must have been very devastating for you and even harder knowing that you have a young child that you will leave behind. Being upset and resentlul is a normal response to having something like this to deal with. I'm sure you feel cheated that you won't be around to see your son grow up and become a man and a father himself and I know that you would give anything to to be in his life for a long time to come. Unfortunately, its' times like this that we have no control over. The best we can do is make the most of what we have, for the time we have left, which is cold comfort I'm sure for you right now. I understand completely that you're scared. Those of us on the other side of a cancer journey can relate. We also understand your anger and frustration. It is really difficult. Please consider things you can do right now while you're able, to create some lasting memories for your son to have in the years to come. Make some videos, write some letters to  him to have for the coming years, get some pictures of special times together, whatever it is that you can and want to leave for him. Leave him a legacy of a DAD who loved him very much and who didn't want to leave him.

Come on to the forum anytime and write your feelings down; it does help to get it out there. People on here know and understand how you feel and will be caring and supportive to you as you take this journey with a lot of us here.

Take care.

Lorraine

Crying with you today.... can't imagine what this must feel like.

I will keep you in my prayers.  God loves you and he knows best, even though we don't always feel and see it this way....

Hi Smurf,

I know from personal experience that's pretty hard news to receive. 

Give yourself time to come to terms with it, but don't forget that you will only ever be told average statistics by doctors. These don't take into account factors such as age, physical condition, pre-existing conditions etc. so "12 months" is at best an estimate. I was told I had "up to 12 months" in October 2013 ....

Feeling upset and resentful is only natural. Personally I feel cheated of at least 20 years of life and everyone in our position, at some time or another, is bound to ask " why me?" 

I hope you manage to come to terms with this situation and somehow get the most out of the time you have and leave your son with lots of happy memories.

Good luck!

Dave