Hi Louise, I can relate to your situation. My Husband was diagnosed in August of 2014 with pancreatic cancer and was able to have surgery that September. Once he had recovered from surgery he began chemotherapy. It was a new trial that seemed to work on those that were not candidates for surgery. However because they had removed so much of his organs he found the chemotherapy was to much to handle. I believe it was called 5-FU florfirinox. He was only able to complete 4 rounds. My husband passed away August 2015. Talk to your oncologist and see what options there are for your dad. But ultimately only your dad can determine what he is able to handle. It is very sad to say but this cancer does not discriminate and does not have a very good outcome for most. Not too many people have ever heard of it and there is not much funding for research on possible treatments. As far as your own emotions don't cut yourself off from your friends if they are there for you. You will need all the support you can get. And you should also be able to find support through your dad's consultants.

Please keep in touch through this site. There is alot of support here as well.

Cindy

Hello Louise. I am sorry to hear about ur difficult situation. Everyone's experience is unique to them. I returned from holiday at the end of October to be told my Dad has aggressive and rare form of bladder cancer. I went with him for his first appointment with the consultant to be told his kidneys were not functioning well enough to attempt any treatments, and he had approximately 2 months to live. A week later I took him for a routine appointment for blood tests etc and they admitted him to hospital telling me he was unlikely to make it more than 2days. My Dad has worn an unflinchingly brave face throughout, which I am sure is only to protect me.  I guess your children are always your babies no matter how old they are. This last month has been a real emotional roller coaster. My Dad was sat up in bed tucking into lunch in the hospital planning his funeral today, but looking the best he has for months. I can not describe how I am feeling. My Dad has always been such a constant in my life. I will miss him terribly but take comfort in knowing that I am blessed with some of his inner strength to help guide me through. I have been signed off work for the week as I felt I couldn't carry on as 'normal'. Be kind to yourself at this difficult time. Don't feel you always have to be brave and strong. Be yourself, you feel how you feel and that is ok. Message me if you would like to talk some more. I'm still in shock myself so I appreciate that chin-up isn't the solution you need! I wish you well. Christmas is going to be a time of mixed emotion for so many families for so many different reasons I am sure.

Hi. Sorry I don't know your name but bloody hell. You have had no time to comes to terms with what you have you are having to face. I guess we don't realise how amazing people are until something like this hits us.

You sound like your doing an amazing job for your dad and doing him proud. Sod work and other things at this time.

Was gonna ask how you are getting through this but guess when faced with it you have no choice.  I really hope you have family to support you.

I can only hope we have the same strength when the times comes. Right now dad seen to be shutting down. Doesn't want to see anyone today.  Determined to keep his spirit's up and keep some of the dad I know which is a fun loving person. I am hoping we get something positive to cling on to and gain some more good memories before the time comes. 

Thanks for replying. I'm not good with words but you can do this god bless your heart. Xx

Thanks Cindy.  Im so sorrry about your husband.

I have so many questions and have a lot to learn about treatment. It's really early days. I realise the outcome is not going to be good and breaking my heart. We both hoped until a couple of days ago they would remove it and he would recover and I could build him back up. 

I need to speak to the macmillon nurse but only there when I'm at work who are not been understanding.  Dad been in a lot of pain so concentrated on that. Hoping next few days will shed some light. 

Just can't believe it. Trying to cling on to the fact he nay have some quality of life before the times comes. I realise this is probably naive but will take what I can for now.

Xx 

Oh Louise - wish I had a magic wand!  I have no words of advice as I suspect that you deep down know what you can do to manage your panic and fear and anger for a couple of minutes at a time and then focus on that quality of life for your Dad.  Try and share some good stuff together and make sure that you have people around you whom you can scream and shout and cry with and then do some other good memory moments with your Dad.  Thinking of you and keep safe.  Sian

Louise try to gain as much knowledge as possible about the treatments available to your father in your area.I have read where people with inoperable pancreatic cancer undergo chemotherapy and do quite well for some time. Also look into hospice care to see what is available to you and your dad. In my case I live in Canada and once my husband was in hospice we had Nurses and Doctors available to us 24 hours. All our medications were covered and I was able to keep my husband in the comfort of his own home. I did have some family members helping out because he required 24 hour care. I could have very easily had nurses but I chose family. Our main priority was quality of life and with the team from hospice we were able to provide this right up to the end. So please do not be afraid to ask for help from your dad's medical team. If you have any questions I would be more than happy to try to answer to the best of my knowledge. Take care. Cindy

I am so sorry to hear of your news. I am feeling pretty much the same at the min my dad has recently been diagnosed with primary  liver cancer. They have said they can operate and he has just started a trial of medication however we don't know if this is the real drug or a placebo  he's also due to have TACE. Treatment chemo direct to the tumor on his liver he is really down in the dumps abs not taking it well at all we are trying lift his spirits but this is very hard. I can really spmthasise with you hunni it's so sad you think your parents are gonna be there for you til the end and he's so young only 55 my youngest son is just 13. Who is devastated. Xx. Keep reaching hunni and keep in touch. Xx I want my dad to work hard and fight this but how can I push without seeming hard.  X

Thanks Cindy. This is what now need to do. All the nurses and consulant meet on a Friday so hoping to know more then. Have offered to move in with him when he gets home with the support of medical help whilst I'm at work. Think he feels he doesn't want to put on me but I would be there most of the time anyway. We don't know how his treatment will go. Perhaps he will get strong again for a little while.  No pain today and because he has had a bypass he was able to eat for the first time in 6 weeks. Need to get him strong again to handle the next stage.  X

I don't know much about treatment but why would they give him a placebo. It's all so shocking to discover. I feel better he wanted me to go visit tonight. Can understand he can't be doing with company when he's in pain but it hurts me not to see him and check on him. Too much time to think in hospital to dwell on things. I took him a Xmas shirt in today which made him smile. Know he is worried about going home. All the best to you and your family. Keep on touch too. Xx

It's a clinical trial so noone knows what he's taking we can only hope that it's the real thing and that it's doing something. X I look at everything on the internet I find studies that have been done and. Outcomes. X sometimes I just sit and cry. X it's so difficult I mean we are feeling pretty rubbish right I would hate to even start to imagine what they are feeling inside and a mandate with everything differently it's just heartbreaking X do you have support hunni. Xx 

What treatment have they offered your dad. Xx keep pushing you don't let them take their time if something can be done push for it. Xxx  take care hunni. X x