Hi Gary really sorry to hear about your devastating news and words can't describe all the emotions you will both be feeling and it does just seem like a long dark tunnel but you will see light again I think this ststage of the journey is the hardest all the tests and waiting results but just being there talking together and even crying together just let her know your there with her take it one day at a time and if you need talk your fears and worries we are all here for you both in my thoughts 

hi gary, so sorry, it's a hell of a shock for you both,but please don't feel helpless, as just by being there for your wife will be the strength and comfort that she will need right now. I'm 6 years on from breast cancer and had to keep things as normal as possible for my daughter who was 9 at the time . and it helped.so try toto stay strong for her,and optimistic ( even if you don't always feel like it ) take all the support that you will be offered , macmillan are great, and based in most oncology units. she has you by her side, and believe me, that will help more than you know.hope this helps a little x

Hi Gary,

I am so sorry to hear about your wifes diagnosis. I won't pretend to know how you are feeling or what you are going through but I can empathise with your situation as I felt the same when my mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2008.

It is hard to know what to say and it is equally difficult to act normally around the person who is affected by it. But that is exactly what I learned to do. My mum was so brave and faced it all like the doctors had told her she simply had a cold or something. I think that made it easier for my Dad, my sister and me to deal with it. We just had to get on with every day living which was tough at first.

I also talked to my partner and I got all my crying out of my system when I was with him. You mentioned that you don't have anyone to talk to? If there is nobody you feel you can share your feeling with, I would consider contacting the hospital where your wife is being treated as they will have contacts in your local area where you can find the support you need. It is important for you to feel supported so you can support your wife.

You also mentioned how close you and your wife are - don't be afraid of being honest with your wife about your feelings. You may not feel ready to do this yet but it will make you both so much stonger if you face it all together.

I'm keeping everything crossed for your wife in terms of her staging and results. Once you both get these you will know what the plan of action is.

One last thing...don't be afraid to cry and have a good one if you need to. We might be guys but we are human being too and we have just the same emotions as women do. Nothing to be ashamed of at all.

Hope everything goes well and let us know how you get on.

Take care

Andy

Thanks everyone.

Really nice comments and good advice, thank you all.