Feeling blue

Hi everybody, this is my first post. I am having a really hard time at the moment and hope that getting some things off my chest might help - apologies in advance for lengthy post. I am extremely close to my parents and my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer about two years ago now. His treatment is ongoing and he has good days and bad days. Added to that he has type 2 diabetes and also suffered a heart attack last year. About a month ago my uncle passed away very suddenly from an aneurysm which was a huge shock and three days later I found out my mum has bowel cancer. Two days after that we found out that my dad's heart meds have stopped working and he needs an operation next month. My wonderful mum is booked for surgery tomorrow to remove large tumour, part of her bowel and have a full hysterectomy. I have completely gone to pieces and feel like a kid again (I am 34 with two children of my own)! I have been signed off work by my GP as I can't stop crying, although some days are better than others. I feel so guilty as my mum is worrying about me when she should be thinking about herself and I feel really helpless just now. Does anybody have experience of bowel cancer treatment? My mum is really optimistic as to the outcome but it just seems like a very drastic operation and I can't help thinking the worst. I'm sure I'll feel better once she's had her surgery but I've dealt with so much bad news over the past four weeks, I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Any positive experiences would be welcomed x

 

 

 

  • Hi Nikki

    I haven't experienced anyone with bowel cancer so I can't comment on that but it might be a good idea to post this question in 'Ask the Nurses', they might be able to throw some light onto it.  

    I sometimes think it's worse for family looking on than it is to actually have cancer yourself.  You're still young, 34 is nothing but you could be 54 and still feel the same as you do now.  Don't be hard on yourself, find out as much as you can so have some knowledge and most of all, just be there for them.  You've all had a rough time quite quickly in succession so take a big breath and start again.  My heart goes out to you all.

  • Hi Nikkie

    I am 46 and 3 months ago under went large bowel surgery for cancer, you don't mention stage - mine was 3 - please remember we all different so what I tell you is my experience.  8 weeks after surgery I started chemo, just about to finish 2nd cycle of 8.  The surgery was done first as it was a surprise find, original surgery was a cyst on my ovary.  I am on a combo drug of Oxiplatin and Capecitabine (excuse spelling can never get it right) - side effects will differ per person and dose can be adjusted by Dr so its managable.  It is very scary and you have every right to feel the way you do, its the unknown and a loved one's, sorry to hear about your dad too thats extra worry :( .  I returned back to work Monday, and although some days I am in the office and others I work from home its been managable.  Each of my treatments is over a 21 day cycle, Intravenous, followed by 2 weeks tablets at home then 1 week drug free - then start again.

    I hope this sort of gives you some insight from my experience.  Please let us know how everything goes, you in my thoughts, stay strong where possible

    Love and light

    JB xx