Hi and welcome to the forum, although I am sorry to read that its under such sad circumstances.  Unfortunately my cancer is different so unable to help with answers, but hope by replying and bumping up your message someone will see it and come along soon in response.  What I will say is also the nurses here can help you so seek them out too.

I pray all goes well for you all

JB

Thank you JB, I really appreciate it. I'm sorry to hear about your cancer and I hope you well. Chin up and keep fighting. 

Thanks again 

Hi,

My mum has just been diagnosed with Bowel cancer that spread to her liver, is also inoperable. Chemotherapy is also the only option for her - so I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm 26 and she is 54 and it is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

I have one brother and my Dad and I am also the strong one, so that is hard in itself. Make sure you lean on others not involved, such as colleagues, friends or partner as this is what I have done.

My Mum made the decision not to find out life expectancy so we don't know - but realisticlly, with how farspread it is, and being on the liver, it is not going to be too long. It is complete shocking, and world destroying there is no other way to describe it. However, what I've done is remain positive and acknowledged that there are miracle stories out there. You never know, your mum or my mum could be one of those.

In addition, I spend all the time I have with my Mum - I always make sure I ring her if I won't see her and try and get anything I can to make her more comfortable, such as buying heat pads, memory foam pillows, berocca etc. I just make sure I spend as much time as possible with her so that when the inevitable happens, I will have the knowledge that I've done everything I possibly can to help/make things easier.

It will never be easy, and a lot of people will never understamd but we seem to be in a very similar boat, so if you ever need to talk, I would be more than willing.

Chin up, and stay strong for your Mum - never let her see you cry that is my Motto.

Take care.

Hi, my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumour and terminal lung cancer a year ago he is 54. The brain tumour was removed successfully and quite quickly. The doctors told us he could live from 3months to 3 years with treatment for the lung cancer, like you we were floored. I think we have been in shock all year. They can only go on statistics and they take into account the age of the patient, so my husband and your mum stand a better chance of responding to treatment and physically coping with treatment than an older person. I can tell you how my husband is getting on with the treatments, but remember it is a personal account and your mum's experience may be very different. He had targeted radiotherapy for the brain tumour, 10 sessions, and chemo and radiotherapy for the lung. The chemo made him feel incredibly tired, not particularly sick, but tired, very low and weird tastes and smells. He said all food tasted metallic and food smells were really strong. The radiotherapy for his lung was after chemo and it targets the tumour and fries it, i think. The aim is to shrink the tumour and make it manageable and the chemo is to stop it from developing further and spreading to other organs. The RT had much worse side effects than the chemo. Because it goes to the lung it is close to the throat and oesophegus, and it burns the lining in the oesophegus making swallowing extremely painful. The RT side effects went on for months after treatment, but he is over them now. The most recent scan shows that the lung tumour has shrunk considerably but they have told us it will never go, it wil be managed and controlled. That is the plan....I am very worried about a severe pain he is getting in his leg and now his jaw, which could be linked to a slip disc they found in the scan but i have pushed for more scans to rule out a spread to the bones. It is hard to know what is going on because he had a lot of steroids during treatment which damage joints and muscle. It has been a hard, horrible nightmarish year, but my husband is here and his primary tumour is a fraction of the size it was to begin with and the brain tumour is gone and no sign of it recurring. It is the worst thing that can happen, and know one can tell you exactly what to expect, which is why you will feel helpless and lost alot of the time. Keep talking to people who have had similar experiences, the doctors are good but i have found them detached and vague, all you want is for someone to tell you it has all been a big mistake and everything is fine and not to worry. At this stage in your mums diagnosis they can only give you the broadest and most common life expectancy, you can only wait and see how she responds to her treatments. Dont feel bad about teasing her when she coughed, you're a family, families joke around and how could you possibly know it was serious? I do understand what you are going through, if my reply has helped in the smallest way, i am happy to chat whenever, but i realize right this minute, you want clear cut answers and solutions and i don't think there are any. I am so sorry you, your brothers and your mum are having to come to terms with this horrible, indescriminate disease. Warm thoughts and best wishes.

Thank you Helsbels, really!!! To hear that someone else us going through the same kind of emotions as me is a blessing, It really is. I know what your saying and I've had loads of support off my Fiancee and my mates. Let's hope our mum's are the lucky 1s and live for a fair few years. Take care and chin up to you too. Thank you

Thank you for replying....your outlook and treatment/side effects of treatment has helped me kind of come round to the future ahead. I'm so sorry about your husband and fingers crossed for you and your family

Thanks again and take care can't sleep

Hi Feelingnumb,

how are you, your mum and your brothers doing? I expect you are still in shock. My husbands scan results came back and the cancer is in the femur in his left leg. On Monday (28th) he will have an operation to fit a long nail (their description) into his leg to support the bone. If i hadn't read lots about cancer and stayed off websites like this one and lots of well meaning friends will tell you not to read too much, i would not have known about the high risk of it spreading to the bone. 3 weeks ago the consultant was content to send us home believing it was slip disc pain, if i hadn't insisted on further scans, my poor husband would have carried on until his leg snapped. This is why they are rushing him in on monday, because it is so near to breaking. I am annoyed with everyone involved in his care, because we have been telling them since early june that he is is in severe and relentless pain and been told it is just aches and pains or he has been over doing it. But if i can easily research it and put two and two together, why can't the experts? My point is, don't take everything the docs tell you at face value, we want them to have all the answers but sometimes i don't think they are listening. Listen to your mum, insist on tests whenever she thinks somthing isn't right, and tell them if you think they are wrong. The tumour in my husbands leg is a well documented progression route for lung cancer, the second he complained of an odd pain in it they should have been on it and not left him in pain feeling like he was overreacting and making a fuss. Research as much as you can, if something doesn't sound right, it probably isn't, be annoying, be your mums champion. I have not done nearly enough to question some decisions but from now on I am going to scrutinise everything. I don't want to live on after my husband feeling that i did not listen to him or fight harder for him, it would be purgatory. Best best wishes to and your mum.

Can'tsleep