Hi Scottygirl,

First of all, I am so sorry for the sad news about your mum. Cancer is a gruelling, horrible disease that has huge effects not just on the sufferer but their family as well. My dad passed away last month after just a two month battle with cancer - he spent the entire time in hospital. I understand your anxiety and exhaustion completely, I look back and wonder how I coped with the stress and unhappiness of it, travelling into London to see him everyday while trying to maintain something of a normal life. When he had a good day it made it all worth it, but it was always awful walking into the ward and wondering how I would find him, or if the doctors would have any more bad news. Because it was so far to travel and the visiting hours were limited (as well as work constraints),I didn't get to see him nearly as much as I wanted to. I was tired and sad and anxious, so worried for the future and for my mum, how she would cope without her husband. And I was scared for my poor dad, who so unwell at the end.

I know that it feels pointless for people to say to you "at least you have time with her", I would have felt the same if anyone had said that to me during those horrible months, because nothing meant anything to me then except hoping for a miraculous recovery.  But now I look back and I am so grateful that I did get the chance to be with dad until the end, and that he died with his family around him, knowing that we loved him so much. 

There is nothing wrong with taking time off work - both me and my mum did it while he was in hospital and after he passed away. It is not weakness, this is an incredibly emotionally draining time and no one can blame you for not feeling up to work. Spend as much time with your mum as you can, hold her hand, tell her you love her and soak in every moment with her, good or bad. My thoughts are with you and your family.