One of my closest friends has just been diagnosed with a rare Sarcoma and I want to help as much as possible. Has anyone got any tips for me..? Do's, dont's ect...
Welcome to the forum but sorry for the reason you find yourself here. Your friend will I am sure be delighted to have your help and support. It may take a little time for him/ her (and the family and friends) to get their own heads around such a diagnosis/treatment plan.My husband was a man of few words when he was diagnosed but his main wish at the time was for everyone to treat him as a 'normal' person and to carry on as they would normally do as far as we could around him. If your friend is happy to chat about their own feelings/needs this will make it easier to know how best to help but just having your support will mean a great deal. Practical help takes all forms from spending time with them, offering help with appointments/childminding/household chores it that becomes necessary due to treatment plans can but also to do whatever you would normally do if that fits in around her family commitments/needs. Wishing your friend all the very best and hopefully others will be along with their ideas in due course. Jules54
Thank you so much for the reply. It's such a good tool this chat service. The Internet at its finest. The whole experience has been a real eye opener for so many of the people involved. Numbers, facts, percentages, medications the list goes on and on. I've got to say the one who's dealing with it beat is my bloody pal who's got the cancer!! We did go out for a quite bite to eat last weekend and he got a bit cold and then felt like s!?t the next day. Is that something to avoid in future..? We've said we will have to risk assess every thing we do now but still try and stick to the norm as much as poss. Hope your doing ok and thanks again. HFMM
Yeah it is a little jewel this whole chat thing. There is so much associated with the illness hey and I don't think we ever truly get our head round it we just learn more and more about it. Your mate sounds real strong but they will always need the people around them no matter how strong they may appear. Mates to me were a massive factor in keeping my head above water. Although it's impossible to know how we are feeling/experiencing whats happening to us, the worst thing you can do is be pushed away (we dont mean it if we appear we are doing that to you) or think that we need space when we are low, sometimes you dont have to say nothing at all but you being there beside us no matter what is enough. With regards to going out, just avoid crowds and only use food places you trust, keep hand gel, tissues with you guys but other than that your mate will need some normality and social life.
Sorry for the circumstances that bring you here but sounds like your mate has a good one in you for coming on here gaining advice for your support :grin:
My friend also dealt with her diagnosis very well and she explained that it was because she knew first hand what was going on and saw no point in being miserable whilst she had an opportunity to live. I know she had her down days and was happy for her to rant away to clear her head but she was an inspiration for many years including helping me when my husband was ill.
As to whether your mate should go out, this is a decision he will probably make himself and both my friend and my husband continued (when they felt well enough) to go out before, during and after treatment taking the view that sitting in doctor/hospital waiting rooms were where a lot of bugs would hang out!! In fact although they both had cancer, their general health was pretty good but they learned to 'listen' to their own bodies as to when and what they could manage.
Family and friends would normally ring before visiting at home just to check they felt up to company but this was the only 'planning mechanism' they both had in common.
Hope your pal is feeling a little better now and no doubt his medical support will also be keeping an eye on any changes in his condition (we had to keep a diary of any issues during cancer treatment as most of the time they can help with other medications). All the best Jules
I'm hoping this will reach all of you who kindly replied..
Firstly, a big thank you for those replies!! It's a crazy thing to be, indirectly, part of something that effects so many people but is none the less such a personal thing. I'm touched by your storys and truly wish you, and all involved in your situations all my love and best wishes.
Things are moving along with My Pal (I've not used his name as he doesn't know I've joined this wonderful site), third chemo session done (plus scan) and Mr Sarcoma has not shrunk...BOO...but has not grown either..small yay..!? Pal seems to be pain free at the mo so that's a positive in my book as he was really starting to suffer. He's buzzed his hair off too and in typical 'My Pal' fashion he carries it off brilliantly! If this was me I'd look like Gollum on Crack!! I think there's going to be some Radiotherapy sessions starting along side the chemo now so a tough road ahead by the sounds of things I've been told and judging by the reading I've done. Any Radio' sessions advice...?
The one thing that is (selfishly, I feel) getting me down is the crushing feeling of utter powerlessness that consumes me and all in my situation I'm sure. I've not shared this with My Pal as I'd hate to put even one more micro-gram of worry on him so its good to be able to vent on here. I, like many I think, assumed that the magic 'chemo wand' would be waved in a Star Trek fashion and this horror situation would be resolved with a swift wave of said wand. How wrong I was! It's all hitting home now and all I want to do is be as strong as possible for him but I worry that the inevitable emotional breakdown in front of him ain't to far away. Luckily he knows I'm one of those modern 'crying guys' and will probably join in! I just hope we can stop when it does happen or working on a building site is going to become a whole new experience!!
Also, I have to mention his amazing Mrs. She's been a good friend of mine since school and I'm beyond impressed/amazed at how she is coping with it all. As i think i mentioned they have two young kids and her skills at juggling them, My Pal, hospital ap's, work and all the other day to day crap leaves me both speechless and so proud of her too. Any advise for her would be greatly appreciated as I doubt this level of juggling can be maintained!! This is female multi-tasking at an Olympic standard!!
I shall love you and leave you for now, thank you again and chat again soon. HFMM. XxxX
