Hi Laura,

welcome to this forum allthough I am sorry to read the reasons wht you have joined.

You have taken the first step to help yourself by simply writting down your feelings and joining this friendly sight. Its is quite common for people to find it difficult to talk openly and honestly to other family members when someone they love has cancer, Usually for the reasons you have stated. I can understand you masking your feelings in front of your nan, but I would encourouge you to talk to your family about how your feeling. So many families miss out on the support of other family nembers for you should really all be helping each other. Thats what families are for.

As someone who has lost several close family members to cancer, plus having had and recovered from prostate cancer myself, I have found it so much easier to cope having had the support of my family to help me through the emotional roller coaster that cancer causes..

You are obviously a very caring and considerate person who cares deeply for her nan and family. One thing I would just say is that most people who have cancer like to try and keep some semblance pf normality in their live and not let cancer be the main focus. Hope this helps.

Sending best wishes and kind thoughts to you and your nan and family, Brian