Caring for Mum

My Mum was diagnosed with Oesophageal cancer and she is not coping well at all.  She had a blood test about 4 weeks ago and then endoscopy the week after and a CAT scan last week and she will see the team of doctors on Wednesday to discuss the treatment.  I dont get why it has taken so long to get this point.  Mentally she has deterioated alot having lost her appetite and she isnt eating anything although she is on the COMPLAN.  She lost a lot of weight and doesnt feel like doing anything and now she has been pescribed anti depressants.  Myself and my Brother live down south and she lives in the North west with my Father.  Its really frustrating seeing her feeling this way as I feel helpless.       

  • Hi Ashley

    Welcome to the forum but sorry for the reason you need to be here.  It can take some time for the doctors to gather in facts/scans and test results before disccussing what treatment options they may be and I hope after Wednesday's appointment the whole family will be a little more clear about what is happening.  It is a worrying time for you all.  As Mum has been put on anti depressants (same for my hubby) I hope this will help a little in the longer term.  Loss of weight/apetite could well be caused by discomfort/pain your Mum could be suffering and there are other drinks that can be prescribed if eating is a particular difficulty.  It may be worth chatting to your Dad and getting him to write all the questions you all have down so he has these to refer to when they have the appointment.

    Do come and chat on the forum as its a good place to let out the frustrations/worries you are feeling at this time and many here will understand what you are going through just now..Jules54

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    Hi Ashley

    Im so sorry you and your family are going through such a tough time. It is very difficult when your loved ones live far away. My mother in law lived a few hours drive away when she was diagnosed and it was incredibly  difficult for us juggling our normal routine as well as spending as much time as possible with mum.
    As Jules says, it does take time and a barrage of tests before plans for treatment swing into action. Dont assume that during the lull nothing is being done. Your mums doctors will be discussing the results of your mums tests and formulating her treatment plan.

    It must be very shocking for her. Im not surprised she has deteriorated mentally and physically. My husband is dealing with incurable lung cancer and he has also been prescribed anti depressants.  We have been warned that they arent a magic pill and wont suddenly turn him into his old happy self again. They can make your mood rise and fall like a yoyo but we are assured that things should even out in time. 

    Regarding your mums appetite im sure complan is doing her some good but as Jules points out there are supliments available on prescription (Does your mum get free prescriptions? I think all cancer patients get a payment exemption card..... my husband has so I assume all do)  Get your mum to ask for Fortijuice and fortisip on prescription. These drinks are fruit flavourand come as a cordial type consistency or a thicker milky consistency. They have 300 calories per bottle and all the nutrients you need. There is also a smaller yogurty drink available that our district nurse calls a 'shot' which has 500 calories in a small bottle. My husband has 3 or so a day to supliment his meals because he cant eat very much right now.

    If your parents agree, you might see if you can attend mums hospital appointments with them. An extra pair of ears never goes amiss. Our daughter always comes with us. That way we are sure we dont miss anything.

    I hope your mums appointment goes well on Wednesday.

    Sending warm wishes to you all   Netty x