Just thought I'd update you, I went today and the doctor said that the PET scan hasn't showed any reason why they can't operate but it has spread to the lymph nodes but they can only confirm that it hasn't spread to the organs on Monday when they'll do key hole surgery to get a better look. Again I'm so sorry about your mam I can only say treasure every memory xx

Hi Sarah. Glad your Dad is getting looked at, they can really see what they are dealing with when he has the keyhole surgery. This is one step nearer to helping your Dad and hope he has the opportunity for some treatment. Please keep me informed Sarah, love to you and your family and thanks for your support. Jo x 

Jo, unfortunately yesterday I found out devastating news, they said the tumour was larger than they thought and that it is inoperable. He has a few month or 12 months with chemo, my dad still can't eat because it's blocking his digestive system. I can see that my dads deteriating every day. I don't know how we're going to get through this at the moment it seems impossible. I hope your mam is doing the best she can, how are you? Sarah xx

Oh sarah, I am so sorry. Will your Dad have the chemo ? I know exactly what you mean when you wonder how you are going to get through it. Ifeel exactly the same. Mum  wont be having chemo as they cant get her liver function working properly. SHe is being fed through a tube. Everyday I go to the hospital (I have a job but I keep taking time off. I know I cant keep doing this and it is just adding more to my stress). She is on a 24 hour pain relief pump but still needs extra jabs for the pain. The whole situation is inhumane. They wouldnt let an animal suffer like my poor mum. Please keep in touch. I know I have not been much   help but you can talk to me any time. Try and stay strong for your Dad. Love to you and your family. Jo x

He's having chemo, I know it's going to extend his life but I can't help but think it's just more pain and suffering even though I want him here as long as possible. It helps just knowing someone else is going through similar things. I feel so sorry for your mam there is just no justice. Love to you and yours too, Sarah xx

My dad has deteriated so much since yesterday we had to ring an ambulance because he was in that much pain and he was dehydrating. When I seen him in hospital it looked like he was suffering so much he said he didn't know if he could take anymore pain. He also said that he didn't think he'd be able to handle chemo anymore. After two weeks his condition has just got so much worse. He's staying in hospital tonight on a drip and I can't stop thinking about how much he is suffering. It keeps on replaying in my head. I love my dad so much and I don't feel as though I can cope watching him this way. :( life is so cruel and horrible. How are we supposed to deal with this :( 

Yes Sarah, life is cruel. It has shocked me just how much our parents have deteriorated just over the small time scale that we have been communicating with each other. I feel my Mum is nearing the end now. Even with all the drugs that my Mum is pumped with, they are still not taking all her pain away. So when people say you can have a painless death, I am not seeing this for my poor Mum. This sounds horrible, but I wish I could do something to put her out of her misery. They would not let an animal suffer like this. Why do humans have to carry on regardless even though there is no positive solution to their suffering. It makes me so angry. Sorry Sarah, I am venting my rage and this is not helping you. I just feel angry that our Mum and your Dad and many others on this forum are going through this. Jo x

No Jo, I agree with you completely. My dad is in so much pain all the time, he can't have chemo now. The doctors said that if they knew how bad the cancer was they'd have never put him through keyhole surgery. I don't understand how they didn't see it before. My dad has up to 4 month left without chemo but he's rapidly deteriorating. He has up to 4 month to sit and dwell about the people who he's leaving behind, his anger at his short life and the unfairness of it all. I still can't believe my dad is dying. I'm so sorry about your mum I hope they do manage to find some suitable pain relief in the end. Thinking of you all, sarah xx

Hi Sarah I'm going through the same thing with my dad . He's been diagnosed with stomach cancer but no staging yet . 3 weeks ago today he had a liver biopsy as it's spread to the lymph node and liver and we're awaiting the results three weeks this Tuesday and still not heard anything ! He's struggling to eat , lost a huge amount of weight and barely keeps fluids up as swallowing is a huge problem , I'm at my wits end worrying all the time . He's been told he can have a stent in but even with the amount of calls to gps and he's cancer nurse we're still waiting how can they call this some quality of life when he's suffering ! I can deal with him having cancer as we've been here before when he had bowel cancer seven years ago and got through it but watching someone you love in pain and unable to eat is utterly destroying .