Hi Leedsdad, This is such a shock to you all.  Being a mess is normal, cancer referrals are dealt with pretty fast, allways a steep learning curve.

My view is that the truth is needed, as if you leave gaps at 13 and 14 they - or worse their uninformed mates will fill the gaps.   My daughter was 10 (now late 20s) when diagnosised with ALL (cancer of the White blood cells)., her elder sibling was told all sort of rubbish in the playground which I only learnt about later.  If you don't know honesty is the best policy, be strong together and sad together and keep spending time with Nan.

Try not to let the fear of tomorrow spoil today, take care, Gardenlady.