Hi, I'm 20 years old - the baby of my family that consists of my dad 52, mum 48 (married 28years) and older sister 22. Back in 2006 my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer at stage 4. After lots of chemotherapy, radiotherapy and a hysterectomy my mum was doing great and has been clear for 9 years spending most of that time on tamoxifen. In early October 2014 my mum started experiencing lots of pain that seemed to move round her body from her back to her pelvis making walking very difficult. She visited the doctors several times (she is not a moaner she is such a brave woman) and they was treating her for ciatica where she was having regular physiotherapy sessions which wasn't helping. 3 weeks ago after my mum demanded a scan we've learnt that the cancer is back. It is secondary this time and is called metastatic breast cancer and is in mums hips, ribs (already broke several of them), pelvis and spine. I am so angry with the whole world. My mum is very healthy, and is the most loving kindhearted beautiful woman. To see her in pain breaks my heart. I thought we'd dealt with this all those years ago back when I was 11. Why again? Why her? I'd do anything to take her pain away. She is my best friend. We are so close and alike, ever since I've found out about her diagnosis I can't leave her side as im so afraid of her not being there one day. She holds us all together. My dad works away and he isn't coping very well. My sister is slightly autistic and deals with this alot different to me. We had so much planned this year that I'm afraid my mum won't get to see. My sister is getting married, I'm graduating and turning 21, my grandparents are having their 50th wedding anniversary. It feels different this time. Mum is such a fighter but she seems like she is giving up . I'm trying to be so strong for her and the rest of my family but I can't stop thinking about life without her. If she does live to see my sister get married - she will never see me (selfish I know but it hurts so bad). I guess the not knowing how long she has is the worst part, learning to live from scan to scan. How are we supposed to move forward and learn to live with this? I just want to wake up and it all of been a bad nightmare but I know its now my reality. Nothing will ever be the same again :(
I know this is an old post for you, but reading this took the words right out of my mouth. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer just over 10 years ago but was given the all clear about 2 years ago. At the beginning of this year she was diagnosed with metasteses in her bones. We found out 2 weeks ago that the primary cancer is intact breast cancer. She’s been given 2-4 years. Now I do realise that some people pray to have this length of time to live but for me it just isn’t enough. I cannot be without my mum. She is everything to me. I’m struggling to get my head around the idea of her not being around. She starts oral chemotherapy next month and I just can’t come to terms with the idea of watching her become very sick. She is evening palliative care as there is no cure and I just don’t know how to be anymore, or how to help or make things better. I just want to take this all away. Sorry to rant on about my mum when I know you’ve been through the same. I’m just scared. Thank you for reading x
Hey Really Sad to hear your I might be late here to write but I hope your mom is doing good. I’m 20 as well and my mom had breast cancer she survived and after six months it came back and now doctors are saying she has metastatic cancer (which has started spreading in her brain) so they have stopped are treatment completely and they said u can pray a lot and she will remain on medication and there is nothing else we can do, they said we don’t know how much time she will have. She fighted everything before and now they are giving up. I can’t afford to lose her at all, seeing her in this state makes my angry as I have fought with her 1 week back due and now I regret all the fights with her, I want her to be there for all us siblings and my father has completely broken trying to manage everyone, we all are praying hard for some miracle to happen, do all remember my mom and family your prayers thank you.
