He says he'd rather die than endure a colostomy.

My husband's tumour has responded brilliantly to the oral chemo and the radiotherapy, we viewed the 'before and after' scans showing a huge tumour then no visible tumour. Yesterday the surgeon explained in graphic detail what is going to happen next: The remains of the tumour and a degree of healthy tissue will be surgically removed along with the lymph glands in that proximity. they will use keyhole procedures. There is a small margin of rectum that could be rejoined to give him normality eventually, having a reversable Ileostomy for a few months. If during the procedure they find it too difficult to rejoin or it doesn't heal properly then he must have a permenant colostomy. Philip says he would rather die than end up with a permenant bag. He says he would lose any confidence, he'd lose all his dignity, he says he wouldn't feel up to going out of the house and he wouldn't want to work in peoples kitchens and bathrooms any more. He says I would not fancy him any more. The surgeon did say that the radiation will carry on working but they have no evidence that shows the long term results because they are still learning about these new combinations of attacks on cancer cells. We didn't ask if Phil could forgo the surgery, I'm wondering if you can share any thoughts.

  • tried to send you a privatte message but youre not set up the moderators will do this for you

    xxx

  • Hi Swedes

    I will set up private messaging for you now. You can read some tips on how to use it here.

    Best wishes

    Jane

  • Hi Swedes,

    I’m hoping you will come across this message although this was 7 years ago now! My father is going through exactly the same thing that your husband has been through & we are struggling to help him come to terms with the op. 

     

    I intend to show him this thread as hopefully it will really help. How is your husband getting on? Did it take him a long time to get used to it? 

     

    Any advice would be really welcome!

     

    Best wishes to you & your husband x

  • Good morning.

    My husband struggled with a 'spiralling' stoma from the December through to the following June, it meant that he had 6-8 inches of bowel protruding from the stoma site. He also endured the chemo. We had to move house so for a while things were very grim. Once a decent surgeon had repaired his stoma though he could live and work reasonably normally. He has just recovered from surgery to remove his remaining rectum as he suffered recurring sepsis from abscess caused by the radiotherapy damage. Even with all this he has managed to get out of bed go to work and even play just as much golf as he always has. The down side is he claims to have lost all sense of dignity. He also lost his libido. He refused to have counselling so he will remain as he is. It is hard going away from home for more than a day because of his ablusion's routine. I believe we would have been better off with him going in the trial. The stoma supplies company are pretty good and he has always been able to get an appointment with the hospital at a moments notice. I hope this helps

    Kind regards, Sue.

  • Hi just wondered if you could remember which horse forum it was just found out i will need opperation to remove cancer from my bowel ,but have five horses .Thanks Gail

  • Hi my names Maria, I do not have cancer however I have multiple health conditions I've had a jeujenostomy (feedingtube) for 6 years and am currently waiting for a permanent colostomy, I have been faecially incontinent for over 10 years, and (even though I am really frightened) will embrace having the colostomy as I believe it will give me a better quality of life than the life I've been living this last decade. I hope you've had your operation, and have managed to adapt to it and when the times right you have a successful reversal. I wish you all the best.:

  • Hi, 16 months ago I had the full Barbie/Ken bum following anal cancer, and woke up to a stoma.  Since then, lockdown permitting, this 67 year old has been playing walking football, golf, doing some fairly heavy gardening, and generally getting on with life like before. 

    It saves your life, it's surprisingly efficient as a replacement for sitting on the loo, and if you can embrace it it is actually a very positive thing.  And there's a surprisingly large number of people out here with them, he'd be far from alone!