I think your post sums it all up very well. There is no right or wrong answer to chemo treatment, it’s all down to individual cancers and the individual themselves. If Id have known what I do now I would probably have opted out. Dave chose to opt in. My Dad chose to opt out after four separate cancers, others have one round with cancer, have the chemo and go on to live happy lives. I wasn’t trying to say that others shouldn’t have chemo, just that there were more than physical side effects to be taken into account. I actually had no idea my organs were failing, physically I felt fine, no symptoms at all. Mentally I was a wreck though. So it’s different for all of us.

I can see that some people writing on this thread have had a pretty rough time and I'm sorry to hear that.  Why I'm adding my comments is that I'm so grateful for the treatment I received for my follicular lymphoma and now I have the all-clear, so I am a delighted person.  

Not everyone has a dreadful time as we all know that each individual's response is different.  I decided to treat the chemo as a project to be dealt with as well as possible, efficiently, and decided to find all the positives I could.  

1. I'm lucky to be living in 2018 and able to receive treatment when so many, in years before me, had no options.

2. My consultant and the chemo nurses where brilliant - kind, caring and informative.

3. I disregarded those (the surgeon who did the biopsy, for instance) who gave me warnings of doom and gloom and told me "You will have dark days".  I did not.  I kept on marking off the fewer and fewer days left of treatment and kept on looking forward to the end of it all.

4. I was told "You will need help" and made to feel abandoned as I did not have a partner to support me.  Again, I did not.  My daughter helped, when needed, and kept me laughing at the the hair loss (I still look like a troll with my wispy locks but it's already re-growing!) and the amusement of my chemo-brain (which was only ever temporary).

5. I was given paid time off work - yay!  So I couldn't do energetic things but lots of tiny tedious home tasks were accomplished in this time.

6. Friends I hadn't made the time to see for ages were the "lucky" recipients of my contact!

Regarding the side effects, they weren't fun, but nowhere near as frightening as I had been warned.  I read up on all the possibilities of side effects so nothing came as a surprise, other than the joy that many of them did not affect me at all.  The first chemo cycle is the most frightening as no-one can predict your response but, after that, it all becomes a matter of expected reactions and something to work through to, hopefully, a positive result.  I had some hair thinning, some peripheral neuropathy, only background "morning sickness" and that dreadful overwhelming tiredness.  But it's all going now and I can look to a good future - hurray!

What I have learnt from the experience is that in everyday life it's important to keep active. physically and mentally, stay at the correct weight for your height, eat healthily, drink only occasional small amounts of alcohol and listen to what your body is telling you, that something is not right.  Luckily, I pushed my GP to listen to me and refer me on to a specialist - when I felt something was wrong - and the cancer was caught before it had invaded a vital organ. 

I know that some feel chemo should be rejected, but I had no option as one of the cancerous lymph nodes was wrapping itself round my aorta and moving towards squashing it, so shrinking the lymph nodes was essential, thus chemo saved my life.  The delight I felt when my PET/CT scan, mid treatment, showed that all was going well, was a joyous moment and the nurses shared my delight and pleasure with me.

Others, I am aware, have had difficult times and I feel great sympathy for them and wish the very best for them.  Chemo can be a positive experience.

Hi Folks

My husband and I went through this over the last 18 months with stage 4 lung cancer.

He was diagnosed in June 2017 and then began Immunotherapy until metastices turned up in his spine and had a one off Radiotherapy session. If you have a one off large dose make sure your bowels are empty as constipation stops the symptoms from passing very quickly and he was unwell for around 10 weeks.

When he began chemo, a maintenance regime which is to maintain your current load of cancer and will help prevent new growth and with pain relief. The drug he was on is Cisplatin which is derived from Platinum which he had every three weeks.

His hair thinned quite a lot and hair and nails stopped growing too. He did feel sick for a day or two after each cycle but rarely vomited. His appetite dropped through the floor for around a fortnight and one had to rush off to get whatever he wanted as soon as possible when he wanted it. His mouth was pretty sore for a number of days, up to a week - he ate a lot of ice lollies and ice cream, rice pudding, custard and fruit jelly, and all varieties of fruity cold drinks.

His energy levels were pretty low for around a fortnight after a cycle of chemo too and we had to plan really close to home trips out for cups of tea so he didn't go stir crazy. Find all the nice local tea rooms, it helps to get out to somewhere you can park just outside and go and enjoy a simple cup of tea - change of scene takes you and your partner out of yourselves for a little while.

The thing that really got us was the smell and taste in and on the body with Cisplatin. As soon as it goes into the bloodstream the patient smells exactly like a bag of old coins, it makes the mouth taste really strongly of metal. We were newlyweds and kissing was taken off the menu for two weeks after every cycle of treatment which was a major thing. Take the time to explore other expressions of affection between you if you have a partner. We took to telling each other the things we felt as soon as we felt them, it helped, and skin to skin cuddles whenever we wanted it. My being self employed made that a lot easier as I work at home too.

My best top tip is to take time as often as possible to do manageable nice things. They don't have to be big, far or expensive, a candle lit dinner, having the one going through treatment sitting in a comfy chair in the same room when working or just washing up, looking at the night sky out of the window with the lights out, a flower from the garden. All of the little things take on much greater importance with later stage cancer and when you are feeling rubbish during treatment so enjoy the small things and make nice memories. Those memories will comfort the person going through treatment and those who love them if they die. 

My beautiful husband was my joy and we made so many wonderful memories in his last year, including our wedding day 6 weeks after his diagnosis. It is desperately hard to recover from what we went through but I have thousands of wonderful memories to carry me now. We still laughed, enjoyed the good things in life and made a good life together. Find your way to enjoy whatever it is you enjoy, especially the one you love if they are the one with cancer.

I hope my words help someone, you have my kind wishes.

Hi No1tailor, your reply is inspirational and very helpful. Thank you so much. I wish you much happiness in the future xx

Hi everyone i had cemotheropy start of June 2016 i had docetaxel i was OK for about 6 days before i started being sick for about 10 days then OK till next cemo, trouble is I've a hiritus hernia (when some of the stumack comes through the diafram,) you are sick very easily, i was put on anti sickness tabs but no good, the cemo worked thats the main thing or i wouldn't be here today., some hair came out, tingling in hands and feet, aches and pains on and off (and i mean pain) all OK about a month after cemo,

Billy 

All the best to you mum. I start my chemotherapy at the end of June xx

All the best. Thank you for sharing I start Treatment at end of June for grade 3 aggressive breast cancer. Xx

Good luck, all the best to you. 

I have grade 3 aggressive breast cancer diagnosed Feb 2019. Two lots of surgery, and see oncologist tomorrow 7th June. More scare how hubby will react, because everytime I've been to hospital he gets angry and moody with the whole family. But will post here once I start my Chemo.

Hi pearl 

My sister will start chemotherapy next week your advice please.how you feeling now