Me and Dad diagnosed on the same day!

Just had a week turned upside down again.

On Wednesday I was called in earlier than my appointment for next week to see the breast surgeon, as I had a mammogram and ultrasound with biopsy, I was told I have a small lump after feeling it one morning recently. They said I have grade 2 invasive breast cancer.

I was told that in a few weeks, I will have an operation to have a lumpectomy and test the lymph nodes. I've been assigned a lovely and supportive nurse whom I can contact anytime for any help. I've also been told to come off HRT patches and have the Mirena coil removed.

Also this week my Dad became unwell on Monday. I pushed him to get seen, he eventually went to A&E, I had to push him to get seen because he got heart failure and one kidney all newly diagnosed and now just been diagnosed with suspected leukaemia, he's got to wait back for the bone marrow biopsy results till next week, and he's been put on chemotherapy tablets. So while I was waiting in A&E I had a call to see the breast clinic later that afternoon, so I had to leave Dad on his own for awhile, he was okay but I needed someone to come with me for support, he's the one who could ask the questions as my mind was blank and I couldn't think.

He was in A&E and in hospital two years ago with an infection a month before Mum became unwell and she was diagnosed with a late stage of breast cancer and sadly lost her two years ago. Feeling quite lost again and a bit worried if I will have someone to keep an eye on me after my surgery soon.

My apologies for my long story.

  • Hi GirlCat,

    A very warm welcome to the forum.

    What a week you've had! I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis and your dad's suspected diagnosis. It is difficult enough to cope with one lot of bad news, but to get the two so close together, is devastating. I am also sorry to hear that you lost your mum to breast cancer only 2 years ago. I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer too. It had spread to her brain, bones, lungs and liver and I feared that I might experience the same fate. Fortunately, I am now 16 years from diagnosis and I still lead a busy and fulfilling life.

    It is always worth looking for any positives in all of this - your lump is small and it can still be managed with a lumpectomy. This indicates that you have caught it early, which should make treatment easier and the outcome better. Checking the lymph nodes at this time is routine procedure Having the coil removed and stopping the HRT patches are part of the usual advice. Some breast cancers feed on Oestrogen, which is why you've been told to stop the HRT patches.

    I am delighted to hear that you have a lovely and supportive specialist nurse to be there for you. It makes all the difference to have someone who you relate to and someone who really listens to any concerns you may have.

    I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer within a year. I had a lumpectomy for the first and a double mastectomy for the second. I was terrified before both of these operations, but both were very straightforward and I healed up quickly afterwards.

    I hope that your dad's bone marrow biopsy results will be back soon and you can get a better idea of what he is facing. You will find that it is helpful for both of you to get together prior to any appointment and draw up a list of any questions you have. This will be helpful for both of you and having the input of 2 people instead of just 1, will give you a better balanced set of questions. Take this list along to any of your consultations.

    Please keep in touch and remember that we are always here for both of you.

    kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Thank you for your reply, Jolamine,

    Sorry it has taken me a bit long to reply, it's taking me a while to get my head around all this going on at once. 

    I'm due for my lumpectomy and lymph nodes biopsy operation in over a week. I will also have another ultrasound this week, during which they will insert a guided seed to locate the lump. 

    I'm a bit worried about when I get the results of the lymph nodes and if I would need further surgery. I haven't expressed these concerns to my breast care nurse when I again spoke with her the other day. I've just been reading my information sheet and booklets I was given. 

    I've stopped my HRT and had my coil removed, feeling a bit lost without my coil, as it controlled my heavy bleeding I had years ago and only had light bleeding while on the coil. I've had some heavy bleeding since the removal. I was waiting for an appointment with UroGynaeconogy, not till next January, as I had bladder issues recently, and found I’ve got a fibroid which is pressing on the bladder. My nurse has kindly put in a referral to a menopausal clinic, which is also a gynaecologist, to help with my menopausal symptoms and periods. 

    My Dad was discharged from the hospital on Wednesday, about the same time I had my 2nd appointment with the breast surgeon. He was there for a week recovering from a kidney infection and got his biopsy results back from his bone marrow, he's got some form of chronic leukaemia, and he's going back for more tests. 

    It's good to hear since your diagnosis, hope you're doing well. 

    I'm trying to feel positive and just take one day at a time. 

    Will keep you posted on how things go. x

  • Hi GirlCat,

    Please don't worry about any delay in replying - it takes us all quite some time to get our heads around all that is happening. I am glad to see that you don't have much longer to wait for your surgery. The insertion of the seed to guide surgery is routine and nothing to worry about. Your booklets have probably told you that it is not uncommon to have to have further surgery following your initial surgery. The tissue removed during surgery will be sent to Pathology for examination. Here they will check that the surgeon has achieved a wide enough clearance around the lesion and that there are no cancer cells in this margin.

    None of us like the thought of having to go into hospital for a second time, but we don't really have a choice. My results stated that I needed further surgery, but my surgeon was adamant that  he had realised this at the time, and had taken more tissue away then and he claimed that this wouldn't have shown up in pathology, as it was just a sliver. He was quite insistent that there wasn't any need for further intervention. Naively, I believed him! Six months after my Lumpectomy, I found a lump in my other breast, which was pre-cancerous and just under a year after my surgery, I discovered a lump in the original breast. Unfortunately, this turned out to be cancer and I had a double mastectomy.

    Although I was originally relieved not to have any further intervention following my lumpectomy, I never felt happy that I was clear and I often wonder whether this could have been the reason for my second diagnosis? I was told at the time that this wasn't the case, as it was another new primary cancer, but I guess that we'll never know. All I know from my own experience is that, if it needs to be redone, then it's better to get it done straight away.

    I am sorry to hear about your heavier periods following the removal of the coil, but happy to learn that your nurse has referred you to a menopausal clinic while you're waiting for your appointment with UroGynaeconogy. Next January does seem to be an unreasonable wait. I would have thought that, given the circumstances, you might have been offered an earlier appointment. Have you tried phoning your consultant's secretary to say that you'd be willing to take a cancellation at short notice? - this sometimes works!

     I am sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis and hope that he is feeling better after his week in hospital. I am sure that he's not looking forward to more tests, but hopefully these will provide more definite answers for him. How is he coping with the fact that he has Leukaemia? - it's a lot to take in! It's not easy to remain positive all of the time, but you'll both find that the more positive you can be throughout treatment the better you'll cope. Just remember that no matter how bad life seems to be for us, there is always someone worse off!

    I shall be thinking of you as you have your lumpectomy. Try not to overthink things and place your trust in your care team. They do this operation day in day out and really do try not to leave anything behind. I sincerely hope that you get the all clear after this and don't need to worry about having any further surgery.

    Please keep in touch and let us know how you both get on. Remember that we are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx