How to tell your family? I've just found out I have advanced ovarian cancer and I don't know how to tell my children. Where do I begin?

Hi, I’m a 33-year-old mum of three who has just been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. My tumour is rather large, at nearly 30 cm in length, and has unfortunately also spread to my liver. I only found this out two days ago and now somehow have to tell my family. My daughters are 16, nearly 14, and 6.
I have no idea how to start the conversation or how much information to tell them. My treatment plan is still unknown as there will be more scans in the coming days.
I haven’t been able to hide the fact that I’m unwell or in a great amount of pain I was always such a fit and active person running our small farm exercise in our 17 dogs and riding 3 to 4 horses a day however I’ve just not been able to do any of this in the last few weeks as things are growing faster then I would like.
Any idea on how to wrap my own head around this news let alone hep the child understand? 
  • Hello Marsborn and a warm welcome to Cancer Chat, 

    I am so sorry to hear about your ovarian cancer diagnosis at such a young age and that it has sadly spread to your liver. It must all have come as a shock to you and having only just found out 2 days ago, you now face having to talk to your loved ones about such a difficult subject. It's so hard to know how to talk about this to our little ones especially as there are still so many unknowns, for example regarding your treatment plan. There is useful information on our website on treatment for ovarian cancer. Your children have probably noticed that you are unwell and in pain and it must be so difficult to go into it in detail with them - a parent's natural protective instinct is to not want to worry them. However, I wanted to share with you our information on talking to children about cancer  which I hope you will find useful and which has great tips to help you have this difficult conversation with them. 

    This is something many other members of our community have had to face after a cancer diagnosis and I hope that they will come and share with you how they themselves managed to broach the subject with their family. If you wanted to talk things through with our cancer nurses and gain their insights on your situation, feel free to ring them on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their helpline is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

    We're thinking of you during this challenging time and I hope that you will get some clarity soon regarding your treatment options. Best of luck for your remaining scans and I hope that they bring some additional answers so that you can have a treatment plan in place very soon. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator