Hello Smile-always, and welcome to the 'club' that no-one ever wants to join.  Just like you, I was terrified of the thought of having chemo.  It was after my third treatment that strands of my waist-length blonde hair started coming out in clumps..........I had already bought some wigs but to be honest I found them to be very hot and they made my bald head feel very itchy.  I ended up wearing head scarves instead.  Amazon do a very good range of these scarves and you might want to take a look at them. I can assure you that there is nothing 'wrong' in how you are feeling.  Many of us have been down the same road, or are going through it right now.  What I would like to add is that somehow, you will find the strength to get through this.......in fact, you will be amazed when you discover just how strong you really are.  I know I was!  Good luck my Love, and please keep us informed in how things go for you, xx