Hello NMoy,

 its one hell of a thing to get your head around and you will struggle to find solid ground on which to get your mind upright, but the sooner you can the quicker you can mitigate the effects of your enemies right hand, stress .Where you are now you need to give little comfort or assistance to your invader. We all het there differently, for me it was the early acceptance that it could kill me ,but l would not give it one inch to do so. Find your way, find it quickly and settle your mind because that is all you can bring to your treatment, the best you to allow the experts work to stand the best chance of success.

My spread to the liver took place between pre surgery chemo/radio and planned bowel resection.Picked upon pre op scan it was very fast moving so liver surgery took precedence with 60% excised a few weeks later,followed by bowel surgery 12 weeks later.

Its understandable you are worried about spread, but your MDT will be well versed in understanding this and will act accordingly in line with the results of your scans and tests,Depending on the siting and type of spread on your liver, surgery or chemo will be employed.

Liver surgery recovery was hard but with no after effects, bowel resection easier but with permanent issues,chemo/radio also left their mark.This said l am now ten years on living a very active life at 74, and have done for the past 8.5 years. It robbed me of 18 months, but has more than repaid this debt in the strength and quality of my second lifeover that time.

Its a hard path you have to travel, but its up to you how you approach doing so, and the possibilities of your preferred destination exist.Calm determined small steps add up to progress over time and are more useful than a headlong rush and flap at the start.

If you have a Maggies centre near you, my advice is to use it, that's both of you, because make no mistake you are both sufferers and will need all the support you can find. l was fortunate to have one attached to the hospital where l was treated and l owe them so much for helping me travel my journey, an oasis of tranquility with nothing thrust upon you surrounded by understanding and those travelling those same paths.

Go gently, keep your mind open ,your eyes forward and your hope undiminished, these are your allies and will aid you moving forward,

David

Hello Nina,

                    l took the view that like previous hip surgery go with experts that do the proceedure day in day out as their level of expertise is greater than than the surgeon that does one here or there in amongst other skeletal proceedures. So it was with the cancer, l trusted the surgeons and the MDT team and respected their best advice from their broad range of experience.

The plan was too hammer it with 6 weeks radio/chemo to try to halt any spread before bowel resection since they could see a nearby lymph node was swollen but no spread to the liver.Unfortunately in the following 5 months it went on vacation into my liver, and was motoring at a fast rate, resulting in a liver op 3 weeks later with 60% over two lobes removed,  Bowel resection followed 8 weeks later

!8 weeks of oxipilation followed which was brutal for the last two rounds and left me with permanant neuropathy in the feet, partly due to my consultant retiring, my living on an offshore island with treatment decisions taken on a mainland hospital, and a locum consultant taking decisions about continuing at arms length without having seen me, not surprising really that she opted to play safe and continue with round 5 and 6.The plus side was that if it kicked the living daylights out of me, then it also done the same to my unwanted guest. l had not gone through so much to stumble at the end so its been a small price to pay. It took about 3 years for my control centre to stop constantly informing me that my feet hurt before it said sod it and gave up.

As regards to eating, throw the previous rulebook away and focus on little treats rather than set meals. Time back they used to refer to tidbits, small parcels of naughty little joy.Its trial and error as to what and when, but its what you fancy and can drink that really means you keep your intake up to keep your strength up for upcoming treatment. Small bowls with snacks and treats spread about in small bowels that you can access in the passing is a good idea, in my case small mini cartons/bottles of juice, energy drinks, ginger beer, jelly babies, fruit jellies,liquorice,chocolate, anything with an energy punch in small parcels. Slices of ham, squares of cheese, without the bread needed for a sandwich, soups. Anything is possible, nothing off limits.

Look to vitamin/mineral supplements, vit b complex would be what they recommend to alleviate neuropathy, you should have someone on your husbands treatment team that can give advice.

Good to hear your husband is fit and active, this will play a big part in his recovery, l keep cattle and sheep, and apart from when l was in a hospital bed on the mainland l dragged myself out to tend to my stock. My day in any sense of routine was tossed out the window, l done what l could to point of exhaustion but not collapse, rested and went out again. 

l can sympathise with your feelings of things moving slowly, time stretches out into the distance when you are anxious to get moving and your patience gets severely tested, it helps if you stick to your routines, doing the things you really enjoy, or expanding out to do the things you have always wanted too but somehow never quite got round too, keeping your minds activity range wide rather than a one track scenario of worry and what if's Once l had got my head around the idea that this could kill me but it would be mutual self destruction, from then on l only looked forward and got on with my life.Stress is a killer and no way was l going to give my opponent an advantage.It will helpif you can find your way of relieving any self imposed stress, because its important to realise that from here on its yourself that decides the burden you place upon your own shoulders.

its why l say go gently, its importance is immense and one the few things you can influence in your future,

David