Hello Minnie63

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's recent diagnosis of metastatic adenocarcinoma. It's understandable that you may have lots of questions and concerns. 

Has he been given an appointment date for the new hospital that he has been referred to? Hopefully, he won't have to wait too long and the team there will be able to give you some answers and reassurance about his care options. 

It's really difficult for us to say what kind of treatment your husband might be offered. The specialists will hopefully have all the information needed to have a clear overview of his diagnosis and will be best placed to talk through the options with you. 

In the meantime, I wonder if you might find it helpful to talk things through with one of our nurses. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information and support they can. They can also help you both think about any questions you might want to ask the specialists. If you'd like to talk with our nurses they're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

Keep in touch Minnie63 and let us know how you get on. We're here for you. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Thanks for reply

He as his first appointment on the 17th March.

I'm unable to go with him, due to being unwell my GP as advised not to go. But I can take a call & be part of the appointment that way, if possible?

TBH no questions are coming to mind, apart from how a man can be 100% ok but have this diagnosis, he as a slight back ache on & off, but thats it.

Both our appetites & doing "normal" things have gone. Its like living in hell. 

I have rung various helplines but all I do is cry, my husband broke down yesterday & theres nothing I can do to help him.

He just thinks he as a death sentence & will be told palliative treatment only.

All our plans gone in a heartbeat. 

Sorry to sound so down, but we both feel down & trying hard to support each other. We dont have children. He as no family support whatsoever & my family are going through heartache, as my sisters husband died 2 wks ago.

So its just us. We watch tv & not taking it in, cant read a book as its reading the same page over & over, plan to go out & dont see the point as our minds are purely focused on cancer.

Its 24/7 living hell, the only respite is sleep & thats not too good.

I dont know how people remain strong positive, we wish we had their strength.

Sorry to sound so negative but its how we both feel

Hello Minnie63

Undoubtedly this is a really difficult time for you both at the moment and I know many people will agree that this period of waiting for more information is particularly hard. It's natural to let our minds wander to worst-case scenarios. 

Try not to think too far ahead at the moment. If you can take each day as it comes that can help with managing the anxiety. Be kind to yourselves and don't expect too much. 

If you can manage to go out, even if just for a walk together, it may help to give you both a change of scenery and perhaps clear a little head space, even if only for a short while. 

Hopefully you will both have a clearer picture of things after his appointment on Monday. Keep in touch Minnie63 and let us know how it goes. 

Thinking of you both, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator