Treatment or Palliative care. A decision I have to make

I am a 63 yr old male.  Living alone, no family or friends within 300 miles.  I am and always have been a very independent and determined individual. My Parental Grandfather, my father and a 1st cousin of mine all died of Gastric cancer.  I was yesterday told I most prob have stage 3 or 4 Gastric cancer myself.  I was my father's full time carer, till his death. So am very aware of what lies ahead.  

My choice though is whether to opt out of treatment and choose palliative care only (admittedly at present my preferred option). What are others thinking.  How is best way to manage my desire to stay at home. Is it really feasible or even practical?  I can find advice on how treatment affects people, but nothing on this topic.  On what happens if choose purely palliative care route?

  • What a decision to have to make Jerry .... you do have the advantage of knowing this cancer intimately,  so it's not an unknown . Treatments have changed immensely in recent years,  but it's still hard to read about the hard time folks have going through them.

    There is a forum on dying with cancer , but again a lot of the posts are about after treatment updates . Still worth a look to get an idea of how people are handling it all . Marie Curie charity is all about end of life from any disease ...they have a useful website , very practical .

    My husband is 75 and on the palliative route . It's his 3rd cancer in 18 years and it's stage 4 orophangeal( terminal ) this time . He was offered 6 weeks radiotherapy to give him a little more time ,  but he just can't face any more,  so he's being cared for at home by little old me , and the palliative care community team from our hospital, and the district nurses , along with our wonderful GP over these last few months . It’s a joint effort and even if you are going it alone at home.....you'll still be able to access this type help if and when you may need it. They are concentrating on his comfort and pain control and are very respectful of his wishes...but we're going to look at the hospice next week ,  just in case I can’t do my part for some reason. 

    These are difficult conversations and not everyone understands when a person has made a decision like this , but the palliative care people are excellent at their job . Give them a try , hope you get some answers .

    All the best 

    Zillah .